Out of My Head

Long overdue update

2010-05-28T08:43:00.001-05:00

One of the odd things about blogging is that because it is so easy to post something it is also easy to put off posting until (much) later. On a blog like this one, it seems like it is particularly easy to default to a "no news is good news position." Having said that, I still can't believe it has been two and half months since my last entry; and it isn't like nothing has changed over that time...

Since mid-March I made three additional trips to the National Cancer Institute in Bethesda as we continued to monitor my tumor site and shifted into a Phase II clinical trial for Sutent, a promising new chemotherapy agent for at least some glioblastomas. Unfortunately, Sutent didn't prove especially effective for me and, as a side effect, it was elevating my blood pressure to dangerous levels so my participation in that trial has ended. Renewed tumor growth has convinced my team of doctors that a second craniotomy is in order and that has been scheduled for next Tuesday morning in Fargo. A couple weeks later I will start another round of chemotherapy, this time with Avastin. Based on my recovery time from my initial surgery last fall, I am still hoping to attend our benefit party on June 5th (though that might be cutting it bit close). By the way, special thanks to those of you working on the benefit...should be a great time!

Easter weekend we made a family trip to Florida to visit Bruce, Michelle, and Ryan. We did some intra-coastal and surf fishing, watched a shuttle launch, and spent a lot of time at the beach. James, Ryan, and I also had a chance to interact with with the dolphins at the Dolphin Conservation Center. Pretty amazing experience and much more memorable than I really expected.

James and I also made a BWCA trip with the 'old guys' last week and had a great time. Unbelievable mid-May weather, swimming, great food, fishing, and friends. Thanks to Jack Shelton's tireless tilling yesterday, our garden is ready is plant so that is on my agenda for today. Time to get on it. More news sooner (rather than later). /dps

Favorite Spring Website

2010-03-15T11:10:00.000-05:00

Each spring for the past several years I have enjoyed watching the progress of spring on this website from the University of Wisconsin: http://ge.ssec.wisc.edu/modis-today/ . I have learned more about how to get maximum utility out of the images. When you get to the site, first click anywhere within the boundary Minnesota which will open the USA3 image for the day. Next choose the '250m' scale to zoom in. Now for the cool part...select the 'false color' option and any open water will be immediately obvious! As another hint to anyone following ice-out progress on the Rainy River, toggle off the 'State borders' so as to not mask image data. Enjoy!

On to Sutent

2010-03-11T09:30:00.000-06:00

I decided to try to get into the Sutent Phase II clinical trial and so we will be headed back to Bethesda at the end of the month. It does sound like the side-effects might be fairly unpleasant so I am also exploring the possibility of taking a disability leave from work. /dps

Not what we hoped to hear

2010-03-08T11:03:00.000-06:00

Lenore and I went back to Bethesda last week for another followup visit at the NeuroOncology Branch of NIH's National Cancer Institute. Unfortunately, my Thursday MRI revealed new tumor growth so the original Temodar chemotherapy treatment is not having the desired effect. This was not entirely unexpected since glioblastoma tends to recur but it was still very disappointing.

I will need to make a decision about what to do next within a few days. There are two main options. The first, an IV-delivered drug called Avastin, targets a primary pathway (VEGF) tumors use to hijack a blood supply. The second, is a phase II clinical trial of a drug call Sutent (Sunitinib malate) which targets multiple pathways tumors use to capture a blood supply. Sutent has been used successfully in kidney and gastro-intestinal cancers and early results with brain tumors have been encouraging, Both Avastin and Sutent are what are called anti-angiogenesis drugs (or angiogenesis inhibitors). At the moment, I am leaning toward the Sutent though it sounds like it might have somewhat worse side-effects. More soon. /dps

No news ...

2010-03-01T10:09:00.000-06:00

...is good news I guess. Feeling pretty good overall and will be returning to Bethesda again later this week for another follow-up there. Just a couple more days left in this round of chemo and then I get a week off. /dps

New therapies improving GBM survival

2010-01-26T10:54:00.000-06:00

Developments over the past couple of years are improving survival prospects of GBM patients. The story features comments by Dr. Fine, my primary Bethesda doctor.

GBM News

2010-01-20T09:26:00.001-06:00

Researchers involved with the development of the Cancer Genome Atlas yesterday published a paper showing that glioblastoma multiforme appears to have at least four distinct genetic subtypes (see also). Although it is not yet clear how significant this finding might be from a treatment perspective, it seems likely that more targeted treatments will eventually emerge. It will be interesting to learn if there are differences in prognosis among the genetic subtypes. For now I don't know how (or even if) this finding applies to me directly but will probably find out more when we return to Bethesda again in early March. I am enrolled in a molecular markers clinical trial that is looking at about a dozen different genes so we might learn something relevant at that point. For now, I am in the middle of another three week phase of chemotherapy and continue to feel pretty good overall. /dps

Good News in Bethesda

2010-01-08T19:15:00.000-06:00

Had a couple days of follow-up in at NIH in Bethesda and the news was excellent. The MRI showed a reduction in size of the anomalous tissue associated with the surgical site and radiated area and a PET scan revealed no increased uptake of glucose. All in all, as good as we could have hoped for. More soon! /dps

The Last Lecture

2009-12-21T12:36:00.000-06:00

Just finished another very memorable book. Charlie had loaned me his copy of Randy Pausch's "The Last Lecture" back in September but when I started reading it at that point, my diagnosis and surgery were too fresh and it felt pretty overwhelming to contemplate anyone's last anything. A couple weeks ago at church Amy called my attention to the book again and reminded that Pausch was a fellow Unitarian. So, with two recommendations from fine folks, I decided to give it another go. I am really glad I did. Reading it was still a painful emotional experience at times but it really is an inspiring read (and it helps me get beyond my occasional bouts of "why-me" self pity). It is a brief book and one I recommend to everyone without reservation. You can also see and hear his last lecture referenced in the title on-line via YouTube: Achieving Your Childhood Dreams. /dps

Back from Bethesda II

2009-12-15T09:24:00.000-06:00

I haven't had much to report since the end of my post-surgery radiation and first phase of chemo a few weeks ago. Kind of felt suspended in an extended and discouraging wait-and-see limbo there for a while. Finally, last week, Lenore and I made a second trip out to Bethesda to the NeuroOncology Branch of the National Cancer Institute. I had an MRI and met with Dr. Fine and Dr. McNichol. As I expected, the MRI was rather inconclusive -- not as good as I might have hoped but not as bad as I might have feared. While there was no indication of any new tumors, there was evidence of some anomalous tissue near the site of my initial surgery. This could be due to radiation damage or it might be some residual tumor material. Because it is difficult (if not impossible) to make any firm conclusions based on a single MRI snapshot, we will be heading back to Bethesda in early January for another MRI as well as a PET scan. If the extent of the anomalous tissue is reduced it will be evidence that it radiation damage rather than tumor growth (good news). Conversely, if the size of the signal increases it would be consistent with renewed tumor growth (not so good news)..

Because molecular analysis suggests a tumor type that is relatively resistant to Temodar (my primary chemotherapy agent) I resumed treatment yesterday under an alternative dosing schedule. In the standard treatment, relatively high doses of chemo are delivered for five days followed by three weeks off. My schedule calls instead for cycles of three weeks of daily lower doses followed by one week off. By the time we return to Bethesda, I should have completed one cycle of this treatment regime. /dps

New look and a good book

2009-11-23T12:03:00.001-06:00

My remaining hair was starting to look pretty silly so last Friday I had my head shaved (thanks Arlan!). It actually feels pretty good though I am amazed at how even a little bit of hair had been keeping my head warm. Definitely stocking cap season for the next few months.

Since my surgery I have had quite a few books passed my way. Because our friends span a pretty broad range of perspectives, the books have as well. Everything from Mary Baker Eddy's "Science and Health" to Randy Pausch's "The Last Lecture." Several of the book have, almost inevitably, focused on alternative cancer therapies and I am always struck by the outright hostility to scientific evidence displayed in many of these books. Ray Newman passed along a book by David Servan-Schreiber entitled "Anticancer: a new way of life" and at a quick first glance I mistook it to be another science hostile alternative approach (though coming from Ray I should have known better) . A couple weeks later, I received another copy of the same book from Stephen Dampier and with two 'endorsements' from good people thought I had better take a closer look.

What I found was a really refreshing read that focuses on complementary rather than alternative approaches to fighting cancer. The author does not disparage conventional treatments (indeed they saved his life!) but he advocates evidence-based complementary changes in behavior that can augment the usual medical approaches. His writing on diet and cancer is especially compelling and, most impressively, his recommendations are supported rich and well-documented empirical evidence. The down side of this, of course, it that it made me realize just how cancer-friendly the typical American diet really can be. Indeed, the author cites (p. 101) another researcher who claims that

"With all I have learned over these years of research, if I were asked to design a diet today that that promoted the development of cancer to the maximum, I couldn't improve on our present diet."

Kind of depressing and certainly doesn't do much to maintain my appetite!

The role of sugars and major shifts in Omega 6 to Omega 3 fatty ratios feature prominently in Servan-Schreiber's analysis of anti-cancer foods and his arguments convince me that we should all make major changes in our eating habits. While his thoughts on the anti-cancer mind and the anti-cancer body strike me as somewhat less compelling, they are still pretty interesting and definitely merit consideration. Overall, I'd encourage everyone to read this book (especially Chapter 8 on Anticancer Foods) and I want to thank Ray and Stephen for putting it in front of us (Lenore has read most of it and also found it both accessible and convincing). /dps

Radiation and first phase of chemo complete

2009-11-18T08:43:00.000-06:00

Finished radiation and the first phase of chemo as of yesterday! Still feeling pretty good overall...fatigued and weary by late afternoon but really better than I expected. I wll be going back out for another visit at the NeuroOncology Branch of the National Cancer Institute in early December and will start the second and more intensive phase of chemotherapy soon after that. I will also have my post radiation MRI done there with the latest and greatest technology so that is reassuring. For now, it is really nice not starting every work day with a trip to the radiation oncology department (though I must admit that I kind of miss working on the puzzles!). /dps

One more radiation session to go!

2009-11-13T11:52:00.000-06:00

Had my second to the last radiation treatment this morning (#29 of 30) with the last one scheduled for first thing Monday morning! Pretty much cooked the hair off both sides of my head so I look like a muppet or a character from Sesame Street. Some of my VEHS students think I should just run with it and get a mohawk (perhaps dyed chartreuse?). In any case, once the radiation is complete I will have roughly one month off before beginning more intensive chemotherapy for several months -- sounds like that can be rather unpleasant.

Also received news about my MGMT type -- not exactly what I was hoping to hear (I'll just quote Dr. McNichol's from the NeuroOncology Branch):

"We finally got your MGMT back today. You tumor is negative for MGMT methylation. We should talk in more detail about what that means when we see you in a few weeks. (Note: Lenore and I will be returning to Bethesda for another visit in early December at which time they will do a post-radiation MRI to assess effectiveness of treatment so far.) The short story is that it means the tumor is more likely to be resistant to Temodar than if the promoter was methylated. It is by no means a 1:1 correlation, and we have many patients whose tumors respond nicely to Temodar despite being negative for MGMT methylation. It is important to know about however, because we can sometimes overcome that resistance by using a different dosing schedule for the Temodar, so that might be something to think about in the future. It doesn’t affect how we give the Temodar initially during the radiation (where we are using the Temodar as a “radiation sensitizer”), so it’s not something we have to act on immediately."

I was really disappointed by this news so I decided to do the most life-affirming thing I could think of and last Saturday I got my garden cleaned up and ready for next spring's planting. /dps

Resources

2009-11-02T10:07:00.004-06:00

The open-ended post for interesting GBM research items seems to lead naturally to another open-ended post for GBM resources and centers. This will also be an expanding list as new resources come to my attention.

Neuro-Oncology Branch (NOB) of the National Cancer Institute within National Institutes of Health. A truly amazing place that we visited a month ago and will return to in early December. Dr. Howard Fine and his colleagues are wonderful!

Tug McGraw Center for Neuro-Oncology Quality of Life Research at Duke University looks like something that might prove useful should my GBM progress. Its mission to improve the quality of life for those diagnosed with brain tumors and the families that share the battle with them (see note on Tug McGraw Foundation).

References

2009-10-30T12:56:00.001-05:00

I have decided to develop an open-ended post listing potentially relevant and interesting papers from the primary literature related to glioblastoma. These will primarily be intended to serve as reminders about ideas I'd like to learn more about when I have the opportunity to ask questions. In cases where I only have access to an abstract I have requested a pdf reprint from the corresponding author.

Adamson, C. et al. 2009. Glioblastoma multiforme: a review of where we have been and where we are going. Expert Opinion on Investigational Drugs 8(18): 1061-1083. So far, I have only read the abstract, but this one looks like it might provide a good comprehensive overview of the current state of the science.

Heimberger, AB & Sampson, JH. 2009. The PEPvIII-KLH (CDX-110) vaccine in glioblastoma multiforme patients. Expert Opinion on Biological Therapy 9(8): 1087-1096. Seems like a potentially promising approach though I don't know if my little goblin had the requisite EGFR variant III.

GBM News

2009-10-30T09:42:00.001-05:00

I have added a link at right (below links to a couple of my own webpages) to a standing Google News search on glioblastoma. It often has some pretty interesting items regarding emerging treatment options and summaries of research results. The downside is that a lot of the GBM news is still fairly discouraging, especially as related to specific high profile cases (e.g., Ted Kennedy, Robert Novak, etc.) but I like to follow new development such as the Glioblastoma Atlas and the possible development of a vaccine for recurrent glioblastoma (see also).

"They gave him/her X months...

2009-10-29T11:15:00.000-05:00

....and he/she has lived Y years and is still going strong." I hear stories like this frequently and while I know that they are told as a means of encouragement, I always find myself a bit bemused by the apparent conclusion. So, let me offer the following comments:

"They" -- Who are they anyway? A common variant of the above statement is the "Doctors gave him...." which always strikes me as particularly unlikely. More likely a doctor cited data on median survival (drawn from the SEER database for example), which suggest that 50% of those that received some particular cancer diagnosis died within X months. This is of course much different than saying to an individual patient "You have only X months to live." [At the same time, I have no doubt that patients and loved ones frequently hear this even when it is not actually said -- largely because we have all heard so many of these "They gave him X month" stories.] For more on this see Gould's classic essay "The Median isn't the Message" that I noted previously (suggesting that this is a piece that every cancer patient, friend, or family member should read and comprehend).

"gave" -- another word choice that seems very strange. On the one hand, it seems to offer some half-hearted assurance that one is likely to survive some particular interval; that time is a gift that can somehow be conferred or given by omnipotent caregivers. On the other, it sounds as if survival beyond that interval is highly unlikely and that there is a very narrow time window for "getting your affairs in order." Once again these estimates are derived from typical patterns emerging in large databases.

"X months" -- as near as I can tell this number must be based on median survival data. To put it bluntly, how long does it take until 50% of patients with a particular diagnosis are dead. Note that "survivorship cohorts" can be stratitfied (by sex and/or age and or ethnicity for example) such that we can say that 50% of 50 year old caucasian males diagnosed with some given cancer die within 19 months. Yet, as my friend Jack Reynolds often reminds me, as an individual cancer patient you represent a sample size of one. We know that for even some of the most lethal cancers, some individuals live far beyond median survivorship estimates. At it stands, we are now beginning to identify particular molecular markers that are associated with extended survival and a better understanding of the advantages such genes convey will likely translate into more effective therapies for all.

So, the real question for me is what can I do to shift survival probabilites in my favor? We know that diet matters (more on this in a subsequent post) and that a supportive community is also beneficial (on that score, we are truly bleesed!). /dps

Radiation Report: 16 down, 14 to go

2009-10-27T21:07:00.000-05:00

My daily radiation sessions are going well and I have crossed the halfway point! My treatments are scheduled for 8:00 am from here on out so they aren't a big disruption in my day. No noticeable ill effects to this point though I am getting rather weary of the process (but we still have a challenging 1000 piece puzzle to work on each morning while waiting!). Tomorrow I have my weekly chat with Dr. Bollinger (my radiation oncologist) and then I head over to Fargo for a follow-up visit to the Neurosurgery Institute (looks like they did an excellent job both inside and out!).

Emotionally, I have had a couple down days this week but overall continue to feel surprisingly good. I am even contemplating playing some (take-it-very-easy) basketball next week. /dps

Glioblastoma Epidemiology

2009-10-14T12:43:00.002-05:00

One of the more puzzling aspects of glioblastoma is that there are relatively few clear and robust correlations between environmental factors and the establishment of tumors. One notable exception involves a cancer cluster of glioblastoma cases in a Pratt-Whitney aircraft facility (described in detail in Carol Bass's 2008 Scientific American pdf).

There is also some indication that exposure to ionizing radiation (as from previous radiation therapy) and to formaldehyde (as was historically used in ichthyology collections) might contribute to tumorigenesis. My own exposure to formaldehyde has been relatively infrequent but during the 70s through the 90s we were often fairly cavalier about handling fish specimens preserved in formaldehyde. This is part of the glioma natural history mystery. /dps

Brain Tumor Tutorial

2009-10-13T12:51:00.000-05:00

Just came across a nicely done on-line tutorial on brain tumors -- takes about fifteen minutes but it seems pretty sound and I found it worthwhile. /dps

Radiation and chemotherapy: one week down, five to go

2009-10-13T11:35:00.001-05:00

I have completed the first five radiation sessions and the first seven chemo treatments. So far so good. I have my radiation first thing in the morning and Ativan makes my time under the mask quite bearable. The key is timing...seems to take about 15-20 minutes for the Ativan to take effect and I have found that I can work effectively on the generally complex and challenging jigsaw puzzles on the table in the radiation oncology waiting room for a while before things to start to go out of focus a bit. About that time, Janel or Shannon come and get me and clip me to the table. My radiation is delivered though a machine that produces Intensity Modulated Radiation Therapy (IMRT) which allows precise targeting and dosing and limits side effects.

My chemotherapy protocol comprises 42 straight days of pill-form treatment which I take just before bed each night. The primary drug is Temadar (also known as Temozolomide ) but I also take an anti-nausea medication and a prophylactic antibiotic. Being able to take these drugs at home really minimizes the psychological trauma, at least relative to heading to an oncology unit for an infusion. So far, side effect have been minimal. More soon... /dps

Food Phobias

2009-10-05T10:55:00.002-05:00

Radiation and chemotherapy start tomorrow and I must say that I am actually eager to get going with this process. Last time around with the lymphoma the side effects were fairly unpleasant but this process, though longer in duration, is a bit more targeted. Both the radiation and the chemotherapy are designed to disrupt DNA with the assumption that healthy cells have functional DNA repair processes while cancer cells have a limited capacity for repair. Consequently, over time, cumulative DNA damage to cancer cells ratchets up while the DNA of healthy cells undergoes daily repair. Still a fairly dull tool but definitely sharper than simply disrupting the cell cycle in all dividing cells.

One thing I have been thinking about since my diagnosis has been my diet. Although I generally eat fairly well, I know I have an occasional tendency to consume too much sugar (e.g., a half a dozen cookies over the course of an afternoon). There is a growing body of literature linking development and progression of various cancers to elevated blood sugar levels (see, for example "Cancer's Molecular Sweet Tooth"). In light of this information, I am trying move toward a more "cancer unfriendly diet" (as advocated by the Block Center and other advocates of integrative cancer treatment). Last week, I asked Dr. Fine about the potential benefits of a hypoglycemic diet and he cautioned that:

"The Warburg effect is real and may very well be relevant to GBM. Unfortunately, millenniums of evolution has made it relatively impossible to starve a brain tumor of glucose for our entire physiology is set up to supply the brain (and hence a tumor within the brain) with a relatively constant concentration of glucose regardless of the systemic/serum level of glucose. In fact, starvation is the process of breaking down other tissues in the body (i.e. muscle ) to produce substrates for the production of glucose (gluconeogenesis) in order to ensure the brain has all the glucose it needs. Thus, trying to starve yourself is unfortunately not going to impact on the tumor although you risk impacting negatively on other key systems of your body such as the immune system."

I should have remembered this from my work with effects of fish diets on life history. After all, as Dobzhansky famously phrased it, "nothing in biology makes sense except in the light of evolution". Still, without starving myself, I can't help but thinking that reducing the amount of sugar in my diet might shift probabilities in my favor; perhaps not starving any recurrent tumor to death but rather slowing its rate of development and growth. In any case, I'll need to consider potential benefits and risks more fully before heading down this path without reservation. /dps

Calls, correspondence, and comments

2009-10-02T14:08:00.000-05:00

We have really appreciated all the expressions of support and concern over the past month. I get a bit frustrated sometimes with my inability to make timely personal replies but please know how much Lenore, James, and I value your encouragement. I try to get responses to e-mails off in small batches but I am way behind at the moment...

E-mail messages from current and former students have been especially welcome as it is easy to forget the value of day-to-day teaching in the face of life-threatening illness. Thanks for all the thoughtful words and sentiments! Phone calls are always welcome so feel free to call anytime you are wondering what is going on (218.759.9534). Comments on blog post are interesting too and hopefully some might even stimulate an extended dialogue or two and perhaps even some new friendships.

On an optimistic note, I e-mailed Dr. Fine yesterday with a question about the relationship between diet and prognosis and got a very thorough and satisfying response that he ended with these encouraging words:

"I am totally on on board with your idea of being cured of this disease, but in fact you would not be in "that first cohort" for as I told you, we have a number of patients who are long-term, disease-free survivors (? Maybe cured)......and that's with the older treatments. Who knows what is possible with the newer tricks we have, and will have in the near future, up our sleeves. So, I say keep moving forward and good things can happen."

With that in mind, I am looking forward to an enjoyable (if cool and blustery) fall weekend. Tonight we are attending a BSU alumni dinner where a friend and former colleague will be honored. Tomorrow Schoolcraft has its Fall Festival and my parents are coming up so it should be an especially fun day for James. Sunday I might even get out fishing... /dps

Back to Work

2009-10-01T10:30:00.000-05:00

Started working again last week, partial days so far but I am feeling pretty good physically and have been gradually stretching back toward full days. I am teaching at Voyageurs Expeditionary High School and also teaching one section of People & the Environment at BSU. It is sometimes hard to stay focused on day-to-day mundane tasks but at least work provides a momentary distraction from health concerns.

It is interesting that after yesterday's post I feel like it is easier to write here. In retrospect it seems as if I was delaying acknowledging the glioblastoma diagnosis publically and in writing -- perhaps some sort of a sub-conscious denial. Anyway, it feels good to write today so perhaps I'll get a chance to add more later. /dps

One month...

2009-09-30T11:40:00.002-05:00

Hard to believe that more than a month has passed since a CT scan and MRI first revealed a brain tumor in late August and almost harder to believe that more than two week have passed since my last post. A lot has happened in that time.

First, I met with Dr. Bollinger on the 14th and reviewed the complete pathology reports from Maris and Mayo. The pathologist at Mayo concurred that the tumor removed was indeed a glioblastoma (also known as Grade IV astrocytoma). This was not particularly good news but at least it establishes what is to come as far as radiation and chemotherapy (more on that in a bit).

Through a fortuitous set of personal connections (thanks Katie and Jennifer!) I was able to visit with Dr. Fine and Dr McNichol at the Neuro-Oncology Branch of the National Cancer Institute (NCI) in Bethesda, Maryland. It turns out the Dr. Human's parents live very close to NCI and they graciously offered us a place to stay. Lenore and I flew to Bethesda on the 17th and spent the 18th getting more background on treatment options, prognosis, and potential new therapies under development. The unfortunate bottom line is that current options have rather limited success and that the immediate goal of my coming treatment is to keep me alive long enough for new therapies to be developed. On the positive side, Dr. Fine was very impressed with my surgeon and said he would classify the outcome of my surgery as 100% resection. He also noted that he had been working in neuro-oncology for 22 years and that there had been more progress in the last three years than the first nineteen so that was encouraging. I also enrolled in two clinical trials -- one on the natural history of gliomas and another on molecular markers that can be used to characterize different tumor types.

Yesterday morning I went to Fargo and met with Dr. Shahidi, the oncologist coordinating my chemotherapy. As it now stands, I will start concurrent radiation and chemo next Monday and will have 30 radiation treatments over a six week span. I will also have 42 pill form chemo treatments over that time span followed up by additional chemo 5 days per month for the next six months.

More soon. /dps

'We have a pill for that'

2009-09-13T15:01:00.000-05:00

Probably the single worst element of my 2003-2004 lymphoma treatment was the form-fit mask that was used to lock my head in position for radiation treatments. The mask was so snug that once I was snapped in to place, my head was completely immobile and I found the sensation terrifying. After struggling through the first couple treatments, I mentioned my sense of panic to my radiation oncologist and he said something to effect of "we have a pill for that." From that point forward, I'd come in a bit early for my session, take the medicine and breeze through time on the table. It was a lesson well learned.

In the first week and half after my recent surgery I was amazed at how good I felt overall -- really no significant pain and high enough energy levels to feel restless in my prescribed inactivity. I did have some steroidal anti-inflammatory medicine that made it tough to get a good night's sleep and, by the beginning of this week, that sleeplessness was starting to wear me down a bit. On Tuesday, when I went in to have my staples (sutures) removed I mentioned that fact to my doctor and she prescribed a sleep aid which has made a huge difference. [By the way, the suture removal went smoothly and was done here in Bemidji saving us a trip to Fargo].

One odd thing about better sleep though. During that first (relatively) sleepless week, the continuously shifting jumble of thoughts and emotions made it hard to focus on anything long enough to fully grasp the seriousness of our situation. Now that I am sleeping better, the full reality is setting in and, as consequence, while I continue to feel better physically, I had a couple emotionally rugged days around mid-week. On several occasions, I sat down to write a blog post and just couldn't find the will (plus I didn't really have any news).

I have a meeting tomorrow with Dr. Bollinger, my radiation oncologist, and should know some specifics about both pathology and treatment options by this time tomorrow . More soon. /dps

Glioma and Lymphoma?

2009-09-09T08:34:00.002-05:00

Quite a few folks have asked if there is any connection between my recent brain tumor and my previous encounter with lymphoma. Although we are still awaiting definitive pathology reports, at this point it doesn't appear that the two cancers are directly related. Indirectly, there may be some tangential connections so, at the risk of providing more detail than necessary and of slipping into risky conjecture, I will briefly outline my present (admittedly sketchy) understanding.

The type of lymphoma I had can metastasize and induce secondary brain tumors, though this is apparently not especially likely to occur. Neither blood markers nor the brain tumor cells surgically removed were consistent with this possibility.
Cell types revealed in preliminary pathology work indicated a primary brain tumor (rather than something metastatic).
The radiation therapy used at the site of my lymphoma tumor (right tonsil) may have compromised the effectiveness of my immune system capacity for tumor suppression.
It is possible that some subset of tumor suppressor genes that operate in and around my head and neck are, for some reason, not functioning properly.
There are a few (mostly unsubstantiated) speculations about exposures to particular environmental triggers that show weak and/or variable correlations with both lymphoma and glioma. (e.g., see SV-40 recognizing highly speculative nature of hypothesis).

On a somewhat different note, I do feel like my lymphoma experience helps me deal with this new challenge in a more realistic way since there is some emotional familiarity with the fear | anger | sadness | etc. (more on this in a coming post). /dps

I am in need of music

2009-09-07T10:26:00.000-05:00

Saturday morning KAXE (KBXE!) had a fascinating call-in "Between You and Me" feature on "forced verse," poems we had been required to memorize along the way (thanks to Heidi Holtan for producing such a rich idea!). I was struck by the wide range of things people remembered as well as the underlying rationals justifying the effort to memorize a particular poem. I grew up at a time and place where there was little formal emphasis on memorizing text of any kind ("just learn how and where to look it up!"). Still, I was always impressed at the way my Lutheran "Pastor Bob" Hawkinson was able seamlessly to weave extensive poetic quotations into his sermons. Not that I recall that much about the specific content of particular poems -- more just the meter and the sound itself and the distillation of essential ideas. I remember one poem he referenced often (Abou Ben Adhem) and when I just went back and read it now it seems to capture the purest and most humane of theologies.

We had poetry books around our house -- Readers Digest anthologies and the like and I did pick up some indelibly memorable fragments here and there (Do not go gentle into that dark night; The outlook wasn't brilliant for the Mudville nine that day; There are strange things done in the midnight sun....) but I never really made any sustained effort to memorize entire poems. Then, in 2001 when James came along I bought several books of poetry to read to him in the evenings. One book in particular, "Committed to Memory: 100 Best Poems to Memorize" has really become a favorite over the years. The first poem in that book is Elizabeth Bishop's "I am in need of music" which has become (an almost memorized!) favorite:

I am in need of music that would flow
Over my fretful, feeling fingertips,
Over my bitter-tainted, trembling lips,
With melody, deep, clear, and liquid-slow.
Oh, for the healing swaying, old and low,
Of some song sung to rest the tired dead,
A song to fall like water on my head,
And over quivering limbs, dream flushed to glow!

There is a magic made by melody:
A spell of rest, and quiet breath, and cool
Heart, that sinks through fading colors deep
To the subaqueous stillness of the sea,
And floats forever in a moon-green pool,
Held in the arms of rhythm and of sleep.

Especially over the past couple weeks, music has provided both solace and inspiration. A CD Lenore and I compiled for James' birth (back in the lawless old Napster days) has floated to the top our stack. It is a very eclectic mix ranging from "Fur Elise to Puff the Magic Dragon to Love at the Five and Dime to Sweet Baby James to Brahms Symphony #3. Lately I've also found myself listening often to the Wailin' Jennies "One Voice," Peter Mayers "Holy Now," and Chris Smithers' "Leave the Light On." (Links open YouTube audio and video).

Yesterday at Bemidji State Park, the Headwaters School of Music and the Arts, concluded their summer concert series with a performance by Jim Miller. It was one of those absolutely perfect early fall afternoons and Jim's music was wonderful. Then, on top of that they passed a hat as a benefit to help us offset our recent costs and disruptions. Thanks so much to Jim and everyone for your support and concern. /dps

Faith, folly, and fanaticism

2009-09-05T14:27:00.007-05:00

My Friend: "So sorry to hear about your recent cancer diagnosis. Please let me know if there is anything I can do and know also that you and your family are in my (our) thoughts and prayers" (or alternatively in my more native "UU speak" -- "I am sending healing energy your direction."). I hope you feel it is OK that I am praying for you. I remember that as a science guy you have said you don't have place much stock in religious faith (or "healing energy")."

Me: "Thank you so much for expressing your human care and concern. It really means a lot to us and it helps us sustain a hopeful and optimistic perspective in the face of a very scary new reality. As to faith in prayer and healing energy, you are right, I still don't see divine intervention as a viable therapy. Like Richard Dawkins, I tend to see the universe as pretty much blind and indifferent to human suffering. Frankly, I have much more faith in human imagination and creativity than in intercessory miracles."

And then of course there is sick-and-twisted "faith" like this:

A tiny little more pathology news...

2009-09-05T13:17:00.001-05:00

Talked with Suzanne Human, my absolutely wonderful primary care doc this morning and she had chatted with the pathologist in Fargo late yesterday. There was a general consensus in the Fargo lab that the cells removed were consistent with a "high grade glioma" and that at least some appeared to be glioblastoma (unfortunately not particularly good news). The Fargo pathologist also noted some additional anomalous cells were found and that these complicated the picture a bit so she wanted to consult with another brain cancer pathologist at Mayo. The hope is that some of these other cells might prove more vulnerable to chemo and radiation therapies than the GBM cells. Sounds like it will be at least Tuesday or Wednesday before there is some consensus. Between now and then I will try to put together a couple very brief and simple overview posts related to functional neuroanatomy and some basic cancer biology. /dps

Wonderful World: "So, how are you doing?"

2009-09-04T16:14:00.003-05:00

This has been by far the most common question I have heard over the past week and I love it for its simple sincerity and directness. It always reminds me of the verse in Wonderful World:

The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky

Are also on the faces of people going by

I see friends shaking hands saying how do you do
They're really saying I love you.

Having said that, it is also a frustratingly tricky question to answer. So many levels all interacting at once. Physically, I am feeling surprisingly well given the invasive nature of a craniotomy (graphic imagery alert!). I feel healthy enough that I resent my discharge instructions to "take it easy." I start to feel a little weary around mid-afternoon sometimes but have found that taking a nap makes it tougher to get to sleep at night. Intellectually and cognitively, I actually find the challenge of understanding this disease and its treatment options to be stimulating. Aesthetically, food looks, smells, and tastes great but my anti-seizure medicines irritate my stomach to some degree so that cuts down on the pleasure of eating. Psychology, it is hard right now since I really don't yet have a clear picture of what lies ahead. I remain optimistic but also realize that this disease is insidious and potentially lethal. I suppose that shouldn't really be a problem since I always found Carlos Casteneda's advice to carry death around on your left shoulder particularly wise. Socially, the support and encouragement we get everyday reminds us just how fortunate we are. James seems to be doing well and Lenore is taking it in stride with her uniquely syncretic faithful fatalism that seems sufficient to sustain hope and courage. More soon... /dps

Awaiting Pathology Report

2009-09-03T09:15:00.005-05:00

It is now Thursday morning and I am awaiting the comprehensive pathology report which will set the parameters for treatment and therapy yet to come. I anticipate talking with Dr. Justesen (my neurosurgeon) sometime later today. The preliminary pathology report suggested the tumor was quite possiblya glioblastoma (Ted Kennedy's tumor) of some kind and that some course of pill-form chemotherapy and radiation therapy would be in the works. Frankly, this disease does not have a promising prognosis overall but as with many cancers, great progress is being made and new approaches are not only more effective but also minimize collateral damage (and please read S.J. Gould's classic essay on cancer statistics). Once I learn more about the particulars, I will write a brief update on how things are likely to unfold. It might also be some form of glioma which might offer a more hopeful outlook. Time will tell.

I can't really find the words to express our gratitude for the outpouring of support and concern that has blessed us over the past week. Food, phonecalls, e-mails, visits....thank you to all. I am feeling pretty good overall and with more energy than outlet at the movement so if you are out and about and want to stop by to say hello that would be great. /dps

We are back home in Bemidji

2009-09-01T10:18:00.004-05:00

I was discharged yesterday afternoon and had a uneventful trip back home. Thanks to everyone who called or emailed with support and encouragement. By my count, I have 34 industrial grade staples across the top of my head. I go back to Fargo next week to get those pulled and then will likely have follow-up radiation (and perhaps some pill-form chemo) starting later in the month. Although the pathology reports are not yet finalized, it looks like my tumor was likely a glioblastoma. It will be a challenge to treat but there is new progress happening in cancer therapies every day. The trick with this and many other brain tumors is that because they grow relatively slowly they don't respond as effectively to chemotherapy agents so generally require extensive and on-going radiation. More soon. /dps

Here we go again...

2009-08-29T12:14:00.006-05:00

In the fall of 2003 this blog served to keep people updated on my then unfolding bout of lymphoma. After a couple weeks of more or less continuous headaches, I learned on Tuesday that I had a brain tumor which was successfully removed yesterday in a craniotomy procedure in Fargo (apparently unrelated to the lymphoma). Lenore also requested that the neurosurgeon install a rhythm module while the hood was open but so far there is no evidence of any change in that regard. I will be updating this blog as I learn more about what is going on and what is yet to come. So far, the official pathology results are not yet available so we really don't know what further treatments will be necessary. /dps

Celebrating Darwin's Birthday (in church!)

2009-02-22T08:38:00.014-06:00

Last weekend I had the pleasure and privilege of coordinating a Darwin's Birthday service at Headwaters Unitarian Universalist Fellowship. This year marks the 200th anniversary of Darwin's birth and the 150th anniversary of the publication of the "Origin of Species." Because several folks asked, I am posting Adobe pdf files of various components of the service below.

First-time visitors Shane and Kayla graciously volunteered to help me with a children's skit on the transition from from fish to amphibians: Ozzie and the the Snortlefish. This piece, and a whole bunch of other interesting resources is from thegreatstory.org, a site maintained by fellow UU Connie Barlow and Michael Dowd. I read an extended excerpt on religion from Darwin's Autobiography and my talk focused on the question of a why a church would (and should) celebrate Darwin's birth. Following the lead of Philip Kitcher in his paper Darwin and Democracy, I suggested that Darwin began the closing argument in the "Enlightenment case against supernaturalism" and that religion must be "naturalized" if it is to have a net positive effect in the world. We finished our celebration with a birthday cake featuring Ray Troll's "Embrace Your Inner Fish" featuring Darwin and Tiktaalik.

Hard times for the American Republic?

2009-02-03T08:41:00.009-06:00

In Democracy in America (1835, 1840) Alexis de Toqueville wrote that 'The American Republic will endure, until politicians realize they can bribe the people with their own money.' To me, his prescient analysis seems to be on the mark except that we are now being bribed not with our own money but, even more insidiously, with the money of our grandchildren. We don't need an 'economic stimulus' based on inter-generational theft. If our grand American experiment is to flourish we need a fundamental rethinking of the nature and purpose of economic activity (see e.g., Russell Roberts' "Radical Re-Imagining of the Tax System").

The nonsensical belief, championed by the rhetoric and policies of an almost entirely malignant Reagan administration and its ideological successors, that unbridled selfish and greed are somehow good for America has run its inevitable course. Reaganomics has been an abject failure. It is time to move on to something wiser, more humane, more equitable and just. What we need is truly progressive tax policies where the wealthy, who have reaped more than their share of economic benefits, pay more than their share of taxes. As Marx, influenced by Jefferson, succinctly put it, "From each according to ability, to each according to need."

But, the neo-con trickler-downers will certainly splutter, this is a redistribution of wealth! It smacks of socialism! Guess what? We redistribute wealth now but in a reverse-Robin-Hood fashion, with regressive taxes stealing from the poor and giving to the rich in the form of corporate welfare and tax subsidies. Wealth inequalities in the United States continue to increase (see comparative Gini coefficients graphic). The resulting social, health, and enviornmental costs are well documented.

Our current economic situation is not some mere and routine down phase of a benign business cycle. It is a symptom of tragically broken system based on fundamentally flawed premises. There will be no recovery until we align our economic rules with ecological realities. There is no free lunch. We will soon exhaust the fossil fuels that drive our agricultural and economic engines. Human population has reach, and indeed far surpassed, sustainable levels. Put this point somewhat crassly, our prevailing global economic system is relentlessly converting earth's diverse and life sustaining biomass to babies. Why? Simply because a growing global population serves the short-term self-interest of those with the most by assuring a ready supply cheap labor and an expanding market for 'cheap-but-profitable plastic crap that no one needs.'

Minnesota Senate Budget Forum

2009-01-23T09:50:00.002-06:00

The Minnesota State Senate has set up a budget forum on-line that provides succinct and excellent background information as well as opportunities for public input and comment. It is definitely worth perusing if you as a citizen want to participate in what promises to be a very challenging political process.

Crisis = Danger + Opportunity?

2009-01-08T09:36:00.003-06:00

In an earlier post, I had briefly advocated reorganizing Minnesota governance along watershed lines. Given our looming budget crisis, it seemed that it might be timely to expand a bit on this idea so I drafted a 10-page 'white paper' and (perhaps a bit presumptuously) sent it along to Governor Pawlenty and the leadership of relevant committees in both houses. My goal in writing this piece was to broaden our dialogue a bit and to use the 'opportunity' provided by our current financial woes to catalyze a transition to a truly sustainable Green Economy.

Curious? Here is an Adobe pdf copy of my proposal entitled "Creating Opportunity in a Financial Crisis: Simplifying Natural Resource Management in Minnesota." Please download it and pass it along to anyone you think might be interested. [Cross posted to Waterblog].

Election Maps

2008-11-05T16:55:00.005-06:00

Check this out for a very cool geographical analysis of presidential election results -- I remember this site from previous elections and it is very interesting to compare the 2004 map (upper) with the 2008 image (lower). These images show results by county on a spectrum the bluest of Democratic counties to the reddest of Republicans. What is most interesting however are the various intermediate shades of purple -- the subtlety of the purpling and the overall stability of the pattern.

Hate Radio Cranks It Up

2008-11-05T14:07:00.002-06:00

KKBJ Radio 1360 , our local pseudo-conservative talk radio station is really cranking up the anti-Obama, anti-progressive venom today. It offers a steady diet of exactly the kind of paranoid hate-mongering that most threatens our on-going experiment in democracy. So...I've decided to listen in once in a while and then to boycott any businesses I hear advertised there (after mentioning my decision to friends and the advertisers of course). Perhaps we can restore some civility to our public dialogue by voting with walllets. Pass it along...

I suppose it is simply gloating...

2008-11-05T09:47:00.012-06:00

...but I couldn't resist the temptation to post the following over at Worldnet Daily (aka Wingnut Daily):

My sincere condolences: GOP RIP

I truly feel sorry for all of you willfully ignorant folks out there who somehow believed that a majority of Americans would fall for more fear-mongering by venom spewing neo-cons and the theocrats they have so thoroughly duped. Have you learned nothing from the last eight years?

McCain might have had a prayer by playing to the center, but when he desperately picked culture-warrior Palin from the far right fringe he was DONE! The American people have spoken convincingly and it will take your beloved GOP decades to regain any shred of credibility.

President-elect Obama has graciously invited you to paricipate a in civil dialogue directed toward addressing the serious challenges facing this nation and the world. Whether you choose to join in or to splutter more delusional absurdities is up to each of you individually (though it appears FAUX NEWS and many of your your other "spokespeople" have already selected the second option).

As to gloating, I really won't be able to celebrate fully unless:
(57) Merkley edges Smith in Oregon -- (10 pm 5 Nov update: one down!)
(58) Begich wins in Alaska and/or Stevens resigns! (13 November update: two down!)
(59) Martin ousts Chambliss in a Georgia run-off -- (coming to GA 2 December!)
(60) Franken beats Coleman in a Minnesota recount -- (and here's a twist as of 6 Nov!)
I figure the full celebration really begins in December (or January)!

Obama's Birth Certificate

2008-10-14T14:20:00.001-05:00

The Swift-Boating wingnuts are at it again, claiming Barak Obama's is not an American citizen. He is.

McCain in March 2008: "I am always against more regulation"

2008-10-06T10:19:00.004-05:00

Old enough to remember John McCain's role in the Keating 5 and the S & L bailout? If not, this "documentary" (admittedly from the Obama campaign) provides an overview. If Americans have any sense of history and couple it with a bit of intellectual integrity this reminder of "business as usual" should pretty much finish off those desperate McCain-Palin pseudo-mavericks.

Pro-life? Catholic?

2008-10-06T09:36:00.002-05:00

Read this...finally some well-intended but ideologically constrained folks are beginning to understand that the best way to reduce the number of abortions is to reduce the need for abortions. Obama and Biden understand this, McCain and Palin clearly do not...

Palin Crams for Exams

2008-09-23T13:10:00.009-05:00

As a teacher, I am always a bit bemused by students who attempt to cram for an exam. They come to my door a day before wondering "what is on the test" and how they should prepare. Because they have not made the effort needed to develop a coherent understanding of the material, they are justifiably afraid that they will not be able to regurgitate the requisite disconnected factoids Most often these are students who seldom show up for class and/or stare blankly into space when they do. Finally, when the scores are posted they complain that they were up all night studying and still only managed a charitable D. When they come to wheedle and whine, it usually becomes painfully apparent that they are lazy pretenders with a strong sense of entitlement.

On the other end of the spectrum are the legitimate students -- those who actually read the assigned material, show up every day, ask pertinent questions in class. With minimal anxiety they typically get As and Bs without all night study session. More importantly, they have a real understanding of the material and can evaluate evidence and even extend plausible conjectures in the face of uncertainty and complexity. They can think and speak for themselves. They can participate in an unscripted dialogue. Such students are a great joy to be around and frankly are the one's that make teaching worthwhile.

Watching Palin try to "cram" over the past few weeks makes it painfully apparent that she is, and apparently alway has been, that first kind of pseudo-student. She believes she doesn't need to learn because in her experience she has always been able to fake her way along the path of least reistance. She can read from a teleprompter. She 'knows what she knows' even in the face of overwhelming counter-evidence (as evidenced by her take on evolution) and when called on her willful ignorance (or flat-out lying) she claims she is being persecuted by a maliciously liberal media. Rick Davis, lobbyist-turned-McCain-campaign-manager thinks Sarah is entitled to deference and she apparently agrees. Sorry Sarah, but this has nothing to do with liberal or conservative and everything to do with a lack of real preparation on your part.

If Palin had any significant understanding of foreign policy, economic policy, science policy, energy policy, educational policy, tax policy, fiscal policy, environmental policy...something, anything...you would think it might be evidenced by an ability to talk about 'it' -- whatever 'it' might be. Her continued silence and deer-in-the-headlights look is exactly that of the ill-prepared student facing a big exam. Her handlers are hoping that cramming can get her through her big exam (VP debate) but it is clear that she is a complete sham. She will not talk about her ideas precisely because does not have any (Her fallacious "I stopped the bridge to nowhere" and her vacuous "drill, baby, drill" chants don't count). Note: for her neo-con handlers and backers, her vacuity is apparently a virtue.

We all know many of these pseudo-students (indeed, to varying degrees, most of us were these pseudo-students) and in truth they can be fun to be around most of the time. They're the folks who encouraged everyone to knock off the studying and head to the game, to check out the new band down at the pub, to watch a favorite re-run of some silly sitcom. Just regular guys and gals -- somebody with whom you would happily have a beer or two. But...not someone you would want as your surgeon, your pilot, or your president.

Think of your best friends, the people you most enjoy hanging out with...nice folks undoubtedly but probably not presidential material. Effective leadership in a complex and dynamic world demands a level of intellectual acumen and uncompromising integrity that few among us possess and that Palin clearly lacks. One would hope that we would select our leaders from the best and brightest among us rather than seeing Bubbahood (or Bubbette-hood?) as a somehow desirable leadership trait.

Women Against Sarah Palin

2008-09-16T10:51:00.002-05:00

If you haven't seen this site, you should have a look. Pass the link along and encourage other women to add their take on Palin as well.

Two Candidates of Change?

2008-09-12T09:30:00.008-05:00

I have been bemused (though not surprised) by John McCain's sudden if seemingly oxymoronic attempt to re-cast himself as a "conservative candidate of change." Check any poll -- there is little doubt that the vast majority of Americans concur that the neo-con Bush years have been a disaster economically, a travesty environmentally, and an embarassment internationally. Yes, change is urgently needed. However, McCain's cynical selection of culture warrior Palin as his running mate reminds us that any change necessarily implies a change of direction.

Obama's progressive agenda moves us toward a safer and more just world. His tax reforms appropriately ask those most fortunate among us to bear a larger burden in providing for the common good. His spending plans encourage strategic local investment in the transformative ideas and technologies that promise to revitalize our economy. His social agenda fosters tolerance and mutual respect. Internationally, his emphasis on dialogue among world citizens restores the great American ideal of democracy. His plans for education call for expanded opportunity and emphasize innovation and the value of diverse perspectives. Obama's proposed energy policies mark a real and needed shift away from continued dependence on diminishing and ecologically damaging fossil fuels.

McCain, in stark contrast, adocates 'changes' that are almost entirely regressive and move us away from both justice and security. McCain and Palin call for (1) continued Bushite tax "reform" in which the rich the get richer at an ever faster rate, (2) spending priorities dictated by industry lobbyists and characterized by subsidies to the wealthiest among us, (3) a social agenda that seeks to impose the narrow and ignorant bigotry of a loud religious minority on a pluralistic secular culture, (4) a more belligerently unilateral and bellicose foreign policy in which the capacity to impose our will by force substitutes for the justness of our cause, (4) a move toward voucher-based education in which reality denying theo-con religious extremists use tax money to impose self-righteous certainty in madrasa-style Christian schools, (5) a drill-baby-drill energy plan that can only serve to delay a badly needed shift toward more sustainable sources and technologies.

So perhaps McCain's notion of 'conservative change' is not entirely oxymoronic. Indeed, one is tempted to say that it is merely moronic in the sense that it represents a call to shift back toward 'traditions' of ignorance and superstition, to shift away from richer understanding and higher aspirations. The changes McCain and Palin advocate appeal to all that is worst in us -- to our fears, our selfishness, our insecurities, and our xenophobia. If that is what motivates you, vote McCain-Palin. If you are motivated instead by hope and compassion, if you are part of the reality-based community that finds wonder in new discoveries and celebrates the rich and diverse tapestry of life on earth, then vote Obama-Biden and join in working toward the change we need.

Blog against theocracy!

2007-04-06T12:01:00.000-05:00

PZ has more on this at Pharyngula. A great idea and one that thinking people should embrace and employ.

See Karl Popper on why it is imperative that we do not tolerate intolerance and Lawrence Kohlberg on the meaning of relativism -- some explanations are relatively superior to others -- not all opinions are equally valid.

Compromising with patent nonsense is no virtue. /dps

A new biocentric theory of the universe...

2007-03-09T17:21:00.000-06:00

Robert Lanza just published this very interesting and provocative essay in The American Scholar. He notes that:

"Part of the thrill that came with the announcement that the human genome had been mapped or with the idea that we are close to understanding the big bang rests in our desire for completeness. But we’re fooling ourselves. Most of these comprehensive theories are no more than stories that fail to take into account one crucial factor: we are creating them. It is the biological creature that makes observations, names what it observes, and creates stories."

He argues that since we create time and space as modes of thinking, our grand theories must begin with an understanding of our own wetware. I need to read it again and digest it a bit more before commenting in more detail but does raise and explore some profound and important issues. /dps

Practicing science, living faith

2007-03-08T15:43:00.000-06:00

As if to affirm yesterday's decisions to re-think and revitalize this blog along the lines of a science: religion dialog, I today received a book to review for Choice: Clayton, P. & Schaal, J. eds. 2007. Practicing science, living faith. New York: Columbia University Press. It looks quite interesting as it documents "thick and rich" interviews with twelve scientists, primarily from biology and the cognitive sciences. What is especially intriguing is that it moves beyond the the typically narrow Western Judeo-Christian focus -- most often science and (or versus) some rather narrowly construed Christianity -- and includes researchers from Islamic, Baha'i, Hindu, Buddhist, animistic, and naturalistic traditions. I am familiar with the work of some of the biologists -- Jane Goodall, Ursala Goodenough, and Robert Pollack -- but not with that of Pauline Rudd, Thomas Odhiambo, Farahneh Varda-Khadem, or Satato. The contributions from the remaining authors, coming from a variety of backgrounds, also look rich and varied at first glance.

The book it a product of the second phase of an enterprise called Science and the Spiritual Quest which I don't really know much about at this point. In perusing the front matter of the book I am a bit mystified by exactly what 'spiritual' means in the present context. The preface advocates "interpreting spirituality in the broadest possible sense" (p. xiii) which, to me, seems to border on interpreting it out of existence for many potential readers. With an emphasis on 'lived practice' rather than theoretical relationships among science and religion, the book promises to be a refreshing departure from much recent work in this domain. More later. Time to go read for a while... /dps.

Why blog?

2007-03-07T10:20:00.000-06:00

This morning I set out to take down this blog since I seldom write here anyway. As I began that process, for some reason I became increasingly reluctant and eventually decided to put those termination plans on hold for the time being. Now I am not sure why. What is it that I want this blog to be anyway?

When perusing other ostensibly "successful" blogs on related topics and from different perspectives (e.g., Pharyngula, Crooked Timber, Evangelical Outpost, Re Rerum Natura) I am struck by two things in particular. First, and most positively, the authors are prolific and usually concise writers -- I read those blogs because I generally learn something. Second, and more negatively, each seems wrapped in its own oddly inbred and parochial air of confident certainty -- a rather perverse self-congratulatory insularity that is reflected especially in the smug tones of many comments.

I am not a prolific writer. Words come slowly and cautiously, each fraught with its own history of shifting meaning and its implicit connotations that vary among potential readers. In any case, I am neither capable of nor interested in out-Pharynguling Pharyngula (or out-evangelizing EO). What I am interested in is exploring the origins and functions of diverse and more or less isolated communities of discourse. In particular, I am interested in furthering a legitimate dia log between science and religion(s), most broadly construed.

Establishing such a dialog is difficult. For example, I was recently invited to participate in a broadcast conversation about evolution and religion on a local Christian radio station. Against my initial (better) judgment, I agreed and was put in contact with Cornelius Hunter who was to be my dialog partner. Hunter is an affiliate of the Discovery Institute and, not surprisingly, it soon became apparent that his sole purpose was to establish a sense of controversy where none exists. End of dialog (more on this to follow in a subsequent post).

My purpose in this blog is blur boundaries among communities of discourse in the interest of our common humanity and to explore a natural history of religions -- their diverse origins and functions (for better and for worse), their common and unique premises, and their roots in human affect and cognition. As William James (quoted this recent and very interesting NY Times article) put it, “All of our raptures and our drynesses, our longings and pantings, our questions and beliefs . . . are equally organically founded.” The dialog I long to pursue here is one grounded in naturalism but one that also recognizes and respects the cultural functions of religious faith(s). Refugees from islands of isolated certainty are especially welcome to participate in this dialog. /dps

Feet (and other parts) of clay?

2006-11-03T09:46:00.000-06:00

Before all of us good guys on the left get too jubilant about the apparent fall from grace of the National Evangelical Association's Ted Haggard we might want to remember good old Karl Rove.
Mike Jones, Haggard's accuser, just failed a polygraph test. Pay some wannabe (with buckets of unmarked cash?) to make false accusations against a popular and charismatic leader of an evangelical religious movement with 30,000,000 members nationwide...can you say "mobilize the base?" BTW -- Dawkins had some good fun with Haggard a while back... /dps

It must be blogging season...

2006-11-02T22:51:00.000-06:00

After nearly a year of no entries here, I am back. Took a while to even remember how to access my page! Tomorrow I'll start for real...too late tonight. /dps

Intelligent Design Honors Council Lecture

2005-12-08T16:21:00.000-06:00

Last night I delivered a BSU Honors Council lecture on Intelligent Design -- and even got my 15 seconds of fame on the BSU marquee! (thanks to student Jeremy for the photos) Huge crowd for this sort of thing...probably around 120! I based my talk on a series of inter-linked concept maps that I am developing to provide a relatively comprehensive overview of various aspects of intelligent design -- its historical origins, its scientific vacuity, its apparent appeal to large segments of American society, and the cultural/political motivations of some of its most ardent proponents. Have a look...this will remain a work in progress for some time so I welcome suggestions. /dps

All clear!

2005-12-02T18:37:00.000-06:00

My pathology report came back this afternoon. Nothing but normal tonsil tissue so apparently just some sort of infection...what a relief and I didn't even have to spend a weekend wondering. Stars must have been aligned right because they also started pounding some nails on our building project! /dps

Health Update

2005-12-01T19:22:00.000-06:00

Last Friday I had a followup PET scan at Roger Maris CancerCenter in Fargo. Monday I learned that my remaining (left) tonsil showed higher than expected levels of glucose uptake that could be consistent with either lymphoma or an infection of some sort. So...today I had my left tonsil removed and it will be biopsied over the next couple days so I'll need to wait until next Monday to find out what is going on. The tonsillectomy itself went well -- an outpatient surgery and I was home be 2:00 this afternoon. Not especially comfortable at the moment but not feeling too had either. More as soon as I have any news. /dps

Belief Quiz

2005-10-28T21:18:00.000-05:00

You fit in with:
Humanism

Your ideals mostly resemble that of a Humanist. Although you do not have a lot of faith, you are devoted to making this world better, in the short time that you have to live. Humanists do not generally believe in an afterlife, and therefore, are committed to making the world a better place for themselves and future generations.

20% spiritual.
60% reason-oriented.

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

Liberal Education

2005-10-24T21:32:00.000-05:00

Draft mission statement of our lib ed task force...comments?

Liberal education begins with a spirit of free inquiry guided by deliberate development of critical thinking skills needed to make sound choices; it enhances quality of life by helping each person realize full potential while at the same time freeing people to move creatively, constructively, and competently beyond narrowly self-centered ways of living. A liberally educated person appreciates learning as a way of life and consequently remains open to new ideas and perspectives of others. Ultimately, liberal education encourages us to reflect deeply on what we value in matters of art, science, and social relations and to engage passionately our civic and ethical responsibilities. /dps

Plato's Republicans

2005-10-21T09:31:00.000-05:00

To understand the Bush Administration, a good place to start is the work of Leo Strauss, ideological font of so-called neo-conservativism:

"Strauss asks his readers to consider whether "noble lies" (Plato) have any role at all to play in uniting and guiding the cities of man. Are certain, unprovable "myths" taught by wise leaders needed to give most people meaning and purpose and to ensure a stable society?" (from Wikipedia entry on Strauss).

For Strauss and his ideological heirs, the ability to tell well "noble lies" constitutes the essence of effective political leadership. With Plato and Strauss, the Bushites believe that democracy is doomed to fail because people are too stupid and/or too lazy to handle unvarnished reality. Republican attempts to dumb-down public education can only serve to make this belief a self-fulfilling prophecy. /dps

Listen to an account of neo-con war-on-terror fantasy...

Gearing up for another year

2005-08-21T21:47:00.000-05:00

Time to start making a few entries here again after another long layoff. It has been a busy summer and far too nice to spend much time sitting at the keyboard. I will be teaching genetics again this fall as well as ecology which will be a new course. The two are back to back and in the same room so that should be an interesting experience! I expect the ID cultural warriors to be out in force again this fall so that will likely occupy a good chunk thinking and writing here.

Things are good on the health front with another check-up scheduled for October -- complete with CT scans etc.

All clear!

2005-04-28T21:46:00.000-05:00

A year and half post treatment and there is still no sign of any residual or renewed cancer! More blood work mid-summer and then another round of CT scans in the fall...big sense of relief!

Things are hectic as the semester winds down but I did have a most interesting morning today...in response to a student request I conducted an informal dialogue on intelligent design. Small audience with a mix of faculty and students but it prompted me to add a new page to my website...have a look! /dps

Another round of tests....

2005-04-18T21:33:00.000-05:00

Today marked the first day of another week of follow-up tests and doctors appointments. Started out with a head-neck CT scan today and will have a chest-abdomen CT Wednesday morning. Then some lab work and a couple of oncology apoointments to interpret everthing. By next Monday I should know where everything stands. At the moment, I am feeling confident that everything is going well. It has been a year and a half since my diagnosis and surgery and the odds of anything coming back decrease dramatically over time. At two years this cancer is generally considered cured! More soon. /dps

Right to remain ignorant

2005-03-30T21:34:00.000-06:00

I've been very busy of late and have neglected this 'blog -- hopefully to the benefit of more important matters but a note I received today from an"offended" student demanded a response which I include below. The student's letter was heart-felt and sincere, quite well-written and reasonable in tone, and it was even signed! In a side comment on "intelligent design"(ID), my Powerpoint slide playfully included the word-play "ID-iots" in reference advocates of this so-called "theory." The student was "greatly offended" and ended his half-page letter with this gentle ultimatum: " ...I humbly ask you to fix your Powerpoint presentation, so that it is no longer offensive. If you fail to do this I will be filing a formal complaint with the college. [...] I hope to hear from you soon, if I do not hear from you or see a change by Friday, April 1st, I will deliver the formal complaint." If you are not familiar with the pending legislation masquerading as "The Student Bill of Rights," you may want to read it and weep before continuing. Anyway, here is my response:

Hello ------:

First of all, thank you for expressing your concerns in writing. Students too seldom take the time to do so. I am sorry you are offended by my characterization ID creationism. Nonetheless, the word play on ID-iots is too appropriate in this context not to use. Intelligent Design creationism is based entirely on an argument from personal incredulity as my slide indicates — "I can't believe it (and haven't taken the time to understand it) so therefore it can't be true." I have yet to meet personally one ID creationist who has even the most rudimentary understanding of evolutionary biology. Because basic evolutionary information is readily available I can only conclude "willful ignorance" which is one common connotation of the term 'idiot' — calling someone an idiot (or labelling an idea as idiotic) is not name-calling when the term is appropriate. There are a few writers (whom I have not personally met) such as Behe and Dembski who ought to know better and in their cases I am left to suspect malicious intent — I would thus be more inclined to call them liars rather than idiots.

With respect to your second point, you are correct that science does not prove anything True — however, you seem to have missed that point that science does falsify conjectures with conclusive certainty. As a trivial example, suppose I make a conjecture that, based on its appearance, the moon is made of cheese. Alas, we visit the moon and find it is not. My conjecture has been refuted. A similar argument holds for numerous other conjectures — a young earth, a geocentric universe, independent origins of species, a global flood and a preserving Ark... Consequently, I do not believe in something the same way you do. All of my beliefs are necessarily provisional and subject to revision in light of counter-evidence; indeed, I look for counter-evidence as a guard against self-delusion. ID creationists advocate starting with a certain unquestionable conclusion (e.g., "irreducible complexity") and then selectively search for only confirmatory evidence (which, by the way is easy to find but not especially interesting since the same evidence can appear consistent with diverse beliefs).

You note that you do not wish to debate the issues — that is most unfortunate since open dialogue is the essence of liberal education. It is not my intent to offend but quite frankly I don't especially care whether students are offended or not since that is outside my control — offense is a mere perception when no offense is intended. I have had students offended at the idea of continental drift, at the evolution of bacterial resistance to antibiotics, at biological analyses of human behavior, at heliocentricity...it just goes with the territory. Somehow students have the deeply mistaken notion (See Horowitz's 'Student Bill of Rights' linked in my presentation) that they have a (divinely granted?) right not be offended — this strikes me as equivalent to a right to remain ignorant. Learning anything involves modifying and perhaps even abandoning some prior convictions in the face of new information.

With respect to my example of Biblical contradiction, I suspect that as a former seminary student I know the Bible at least as well as you do (though perhaps not — we could go fishing sometime and talk parallel gospels, selection of the canon, Pauline revisionism, church history, Christ's 'missing years'...). Your point that the Bible is literature is perfectly valid which is why Christians need not fear an evolutionary account of human origins. Just as Galileo noted that the Bible is not an astronomy text, so neither should we expect the Bible to provide an accurate account of natural history. The Bible is compelling literature, rich in meaning and metaphor — those who trivialize it by pretending it is something Else do it grave injustice. Again, as I noted in my talk, you can take the Bible literally or seriously, you can't do both.

Finally, you will need to follow your conscience regarding filing a formal complaint. My Powerpoint notes will stand as is for now; should I have occasion to present a version of that lecture again at some point in the future, I will keep your concerns in mind and perhaps soften ID-iots with quotes to make the word-play more transparent. By the way, I am quite sure I have never expressed my own views on religion or politics in class so I find your comments in that regard a bit puzzling. For what it is worth, not that it is any of your concern, I am a ticket-splitting multi-party independent voter and past president of my current church (where I will talking April 10th about resurrection, salvation, and meaning). Does any of that sound familiar from class?

Should you want to enter into an open dialogue about the issues, feel free to contact me (H: 218-759-9534, W: 755-4372).

Without offense taken or intended,

Dann

Liberal Education Task Force

2005-02-28T18:02:00.000-06:00

I am currently serving on a campus wide Liberal Education Task Force that is to spend the next two years(!) on a comprehesive analysis of our Lib Ed program and on formulating strategies for reforming the curriculum. Our subgroup met for our third session this afternoon and started to lay out some ground rules and objectives. Should be an interesting process. My initial thought: Liberal education should move students from literalism to literacy. More on that idea later.

Populations, typologies, and stereotypes

2005-02-11T11:44:00.000-06:00

Ernst Mayr often asserted that Darwin's most unique and important insight (and thus his lasting contribution to biology) was a move from typological or essentialist thinking to populational thinking. As I think about the biological underpinnings of various worldviews it seems useful to ponder why our brains seem so prone to the kind of typological and essentialistic thinking that effectively blocks broader understanding. From an evolutionary standpoint, one might expect that typological thinking must confer certain advantages. Recent brain imaging studies with fMRI are consistent with this notion as they reveal that the typological patterns of thinking are energetically and metabolically more efficient than more nuanced and complex modes of understanding. Considering each experience as an isolated, individual event unrelated to prior experiences would be a pointless waste of cognitive resources. Experience based expectations make operations of our wetware more efficient...well ingrained habits of thought are metabolically cost effective.

This morning then, in that half-waking half-dreaming state that bridges sleep and wakefulness, I was immersed in realms of chaotic and ephemeral thoughts and feelings about typologies and stereotypes. In the shower, it occurred to mean that I didn't know anything about the etymology of the word stereotype, a situation I decided to change immediately. The Greek root stereo- actually means solid (not something associated with two channels of sound as I had naively assumed) and originally a 'stereotype' was a poured lead printing plate produced from a plaster mould itself derived from a galley of hand set type. Thus, a stereotype is a literally a fixed type, cast in 'stone' and used to produce identical copies. The image of typologies based on galleys of movable type seems to remove many of the negative connotations of the word in my mind.

This is important to me because parsing and comparing worldviews is itself a typological process after all! Stereotypes are literalist 'readings' of fixed 'texts' -- in contrast if our 'types' are 'handset' and moveable then some dynamic, organic evolvability is restored to our concepts. Such 'fuzzy typologies' are the key to understanding associational learning systems. Within the context of a given worldview such ambiguities are viewed as evidence of less-than-clear thinking. Within worldviews we are trained to eschew such wooliness and to pursue internal consistency and coherence. Unfortunately, though such efforts we lock ourselves into self-imposed stereotypies.

Seen in this light, supposed conflicts between religion(s) and science are actually a conflicts between rigidly stereotyping literalisms (of several varieties) and more elastic associational typologies constructed by individuals out of their own experiences. Moreover, scientific literalism is every bit as dangerous religious literalism. To educate then means to guide students to realms deeper than superfical literalisms toward an understanding of the more fluid and ambiguous associational typologies at the core of being. /dps

Ernst Mayr

2005-02-05T10:44:00.000-06:00

Ernst Mayr, whose writings exerted a profound influence on the development of evolutionary theory during the 20th century and strongly shaped my own thinking and intellectual development died yesterday at the age of 100. Edge has a video clip of Mayr that is worth a look; also here is a pdf of a 100th birthday essay from Science published last summer. /dps

Monkey Pay Per View

2005-01-28T22:40:00.000-06:00

Interesting report reveals that monkeys are willing to "pay" to see "certain kinds" of photographs of other monkeys...another piece of human uniqueness blown away! /dps

Implicit Associations Test

2005-01-27T13:08:00.000-06:00

Came across a reference to an Implicit Associations Test on Mixing Memory and just wanted to make note of it here for future reference. It appears to somewhat related to my own conception of worldview (although it seems more experience dependent and less likely to reflect any predispositional genetically-mediated biases in wetware) and, in any case, it is methodologically interesting and worth a look. I took a couple tests with results reported as inconclusive but I can definitely see the rationale behind the method and may try to make use of this site in my current People and the Environment course. /dps

German relative Lothar Siems

2005-01-21T11:26:00.000-06:00

Lothar Siems circa 1983

Through the wonders of the internet we connected up with a member of the German branch of the Siems clan. Lothar Siems, shown in the 1983 sketch above drawn by his artist-spouse Gisela, is a musician who bears a striking resemblance to me -- at least in my pre-chemo, longer haired days! To think I am am lucky enough to teach and wonder about genetics in the age of the internet. /dps ps. trying a new picture uploading process -- Picasa|Hello for the my blog -- in other words I am procrastinating!

Another long hiatus

2005-01-21T11:03:00.000-06:00

It has been a long time since my last post. Healthwise, this is a "no news is good news" thing. I am feeling great and looking forward to another check-up in April. We had an enjoyable holiday season but tainted once again by cancer -- Lenore's brother was diagnosed in late December with colon cancer and underwent surgery in early January. He is doing well and the prognosis is good but such events take some of the sparkle out of the season. Still doing an immense quantity of dissertation reading but am starting (finally) to feel pretty comfortable with my grasp of all the relevant literature. My spring semester teaching load is much lighter (three courses, only one seminar course that I haven't taught before) so I am even finding some time time to curl (as a sub) and to get in a weekly game of basketball. Mike and Lars Olson were here last weekend and we went crappie fishing on Upper Red. Wow! It is an amazing fishery (see P1010053.JPG) and definitely a trip worth making again. We caught 16 crappies all over 14" long and at curling last night a 'reliable source' reported a twenty-incher! We all caught a few walleyes and some northern pike. The walleye fishery is still closed but we had northern pike for lunch.

My thoughts on the biological underpinnings of worldviews and worldview constraints continue to develop in rather unexpected ways. My data are revealing a very interesting and complex picture of how differences in what Dobzhansky called "ultimate concerns" influence student attitudes and behaviors related to the environment. Should make for a good story in the end. All for now...time to get back to work. /dps

Something else to worry about...

2004-12-27T16:54:00.000-06:00

2004 MN4, a recently discovered asteroid in near earth orbit it given a 1 in 37 chance of striking the earth on Friday 13 April 2029. Plan accordingly. At least I should have my Fall 2004 grading done by that time. /dps

Another blood test passed!

2004-12-21T10:17:00.000-06:00

I had another round of follow-up blood tests yesterday and everything is still looking good. Each time I go back now there is less anxiety and more of a sense that I can soon regard this lymphoma chapter of life in past tense. All for now...still a mountain of grading in front of me with one exam yet to print, give, and tally. /dps

...oddly enough with a head on both ends

2004-12-04T22:42:00.000-06:00

Last night after James and I recorded a fascinating half hour ‘interview’ about his ‘shadow friends’ (more on that another time) we flipped the tape and teamed up on a reading of McElligot’s Pool, one of our favorite Seuss stories. You may remember that it’s a tale told by a boy named Marco about the amazing kinds of fish he might catch in tiny farm pond – if he is patient and cool:

“This might be a pool, like I’ve read of in books,
connected to one of those underground brooks. [...]
This might be a river, now mightn’t it be,
Connecting McElligot’s pool with the sea!”

After first describing a dozen or so other possible quarry, Marco says,

“I might catch an eel....(Well, I might. It depends.)
A long twisting eel with a lot of strange bends,
And oddly enough with a head on both ends!”

Anyway, after James went to bed this two-headed image may have played a germinal role in different cascade of speculation. And after all, my favorite Darwin quote is one he himself had relegated to a box labeled ‘Old and Useless Notes’ – “Without speculation there can be no good and original observation.” So, with that in mind...

This has been a very stimulating week intellectually with several lines of thinking converging and coming into sharper focus. On Monday in our Lib Ed Human Biology course, I lectured about the evolution of our capacity to make choice. Tuesday I made some dissertation headway regarding possible biological foundations of worldview constraints. Wednesday night I talked about current controversies in evolutionary theory (including a brief dismissal of intelligent design) in our freshman Honors. Thursday I got feverishly sick, cancelled my Introductory Genetics class and came home early. As a result, yesterday I attempted to compress two lectures – ‘Eukaryote Gene Expression’ and ‘Genetic Control of Development’ – into one, an admittedly dubious undertaking but hey, the semester is winding down. I ended up focusing on two examples – the effects of light cues on expression of genes crucial to the tick and tocks of biological clocks and the well characterized sequence of developmental events in fruit flies.

So anyway late last night, I went on-line to check a few favorite blogs (Pharyngula, Panda’s Thumb) and found myself following a link to Brainstorms, another pathetic attempt to make Intelligent Design (ID) look like legitimate science. The overall strategy of this site is to identify aspects of nature purportedly inexplicable from a naturalistic perspective and then to assert the necessity of a designer – I was just about to click back to things more interesting when a post entitled “Problems with Characterizing the Protostome-Deuterostome Ancestor” caught my eye. I was pleased (and not surprised!) to find an IDiot defending his empty ideas in response to a cogent critique by Paul Myers at Pharyngula.

A bit of background for non-biologists – bilaterally symmetrical animals like fruit flies, roundworms, mice and (wo)men – are divided into two distinctive groups based on events occurring early in development. As a fertilized egg begins to divide and develop it forms a hollow ball of cells called a blastula; eventually a pocket forms as the blastula folds in on itself at which point we call if a gastrula. Somewhat simplistically, it might help at this point to think of a partially inflated balloon. If you poke a roughly spherical balloon so that it encloses your finger you have the basic shape of a gastrula. Now, in some bilateral animals this first ‘hole’ eventually becomes the mouth. Animals that develop down this path are called protostomes (for ‘mouth first’) and include things like fruit flies and roundworms. In humans and other vertebrates this first opening becomes the exit end of gut and the mouth develops secondarily. Such animals are referred to as deuterostomes. So if protostomes and deuterostomes had a common ancestor (a PDA) some 600 million years ago, did it develop mouth-first or butt-first? (see here for more and backward and upside down relative development). While this poses an as yet unresolved puzzle for a naturalistic evolutionary account of biological diversification, it is hardly the insoluble problem ID advocates seek.

The first step in animal development involves the distinction between the belly and the back of an embryo. This processes is mediated by a transciption factor protein (called dorsal in flies) supplied by the mother and included in the egg. In fruit flies, the second step leads to the development of an anterior-posterior gradient in the developing embryo – this processes depends on maternally derived RNA that are also ‘packed’ with the egg (genes called hunchback and caudal in the case of fruit flies). In the absence of such maternal RNA messages an embryo quite literally wouldn't know its head from its tail – in effect this could be interpreted at a ‘head on both ends’ (or an anus). In any case, it might by useful to think of such a beast as an ambistome (not to be confused with the salamander genus Ambystoma). This possibility becomes more interesting in light of the possibility the that the PDA had a skin-brain; possibly involved in entrainment to light-dark cycles as well as orientation in the water column? Without neural cephalization the 'mouth first vs. anus first' issue almost become moot. Finally, the fact that the all of the above speculation was sparked by perusing an ID web site suggests a possible name for such a hypothetical ambistomic ancestor of protostomes and deuterostomes – Ideous anocephalus!

More new words

2004-12-03T19:04:00.000-06:00

Between class prep, dissertation work, and James-play I haven't had much time to blog lately but thought I'd take a moment tonight to reflect on the acquisition of language. James continues to show an amazing rate of adding new words to his vocabulary. Each evening he tells me three new words which we then write out on his blackboard. Most of these are everyday English words or clearly recognizable variants but some of the best appear to be entirely of his own creation. Some recent favorites include sanzen, which he says mean big, powerful, and/or expensive (think SUV!); solt which is 'a different kind of accordian'; shivlewise which apparently refers to 'sword-fighting' or 'fencing'; and krotzen which means 'if monsters were real monsters they would be scary.'

Speaking of monsters, James also has an 'imaginary companion' named Monster, as well as one that goes by Killee (and don't try to convince him the name should be Kelly!), and another called Hermie (presumably from last year's video favorite 'Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer'). James calls these his 'shadow friends' and they have persisted for months now and exhibit fairly stable and interesting characteristics. Killee is our most frequent visitor and other than the fact that he likes beer and ages kind of fast -- he started at six and at last check he was twenty-nine -- he seems to be a good influence. For example, "Killee says be careful" or "Killee told me to slow down." Hermie has lived at a particular house on the way to Grandma's since last spring. Turns out there is some interesting work on imaginary companions in the developmental psychology literature. Not a problem. Pretty common, especially among first-born (and only) male children. Interestingly enough, male children typically have male imaginary companions while females have invisible friends of both sexes. Lenore had a companion called Tony until she was six. Later tonight James and I are going to try to tape an "interview" about these three guys. G'night for now. /dps

Ogres are wikunyans...

2004-11-15T15:38:00.000-06:00

We are having a great time listening to James as he expands his vocabulary. Two of our recent favorites are modified lines from Schrek, his current digital diversion of choice. Thus, 'Ogres are like onions' becomes (very adamantly), 'Ogres are wikunyans!' Not altogether surprising since he still likes to fish for yewwow perch -- but interestingly when pressed about the nature of wikunyans, he reports that they are a special kind of onion. Better yet, 'wake up and smell the pheromones' becomes 'wake up and smell the fire moons' -- a wonderful and appropriately poetic image. Anyway, I am not sure I want to try to explain pheromones to a three year old!

Pharyngula

2004-11-13T16:08:00.000-06:00

More and more I find that monitoring a few selected blogs is becoming my preferred means of keeping up with those thing most interesting to me. One blog in particular has become a part of my daily routine, that being Pharyngula maintained by PZ Myers of the University of Minnesota at Morris. This site provides me with an up to the minute analysis of the breaking stories in evolutionary biology and genetics as well as insightful commentary and connections to broader happenings in the world. Don't know how he does it but I sure am pleased that he does!

Lenore, James, and I are at Lutsen this weekend for the annual fall bluegrass weekend. Still one of the most amazing things I have ever seen. A small crowd of fine musicians in an incredibly gorgeous setting. Lenore gets to fiddle to her heart's content and James and I get to swim until we're completely wrinkled! We've made this trip every fall for a while but missed last year following my surgery so it feels especially sweet this time around. /dps

Wonderful Weekend!

2004-11-07T20:36:00.000-06:00

Our friend Jack visited from Mpls this weekend for opening weekend of the whitefish/cisco netting season and we had pretty good success considering that the water is still 46 degrees, a few notches too warm to have the run in full swing. We did get 20 cisco and a whitefish this morning and they are in the brine and should be in the smoker by Tuesday. Jack and I also got out our fishing rods Saturday afternoon and had an amazingly confortable trip for November. Caught a few small northern pike and a couple really nice largemouth bass (photo below). Even got some work done for a change and almost felt like a normal human being!

On Wednesday afternoon while waiting around BSU for my night class, I composed a very long and rather vitriolic venting about the election. After better than an hour of writing, my diatribe disappeared when I attempted to post it -- probably just as well but at least I did have the cathartic experience of putting my anger and disgust into words. Bottom line? This is no time for our nation to unite behind a smirking incompetent and his Halliburton etc henchmen -- it is time to wage a campaign of relentless and critical dissent. Bush got about 50% of a 60% turnout and 30% is no mandate (the outcome is not as bad as it looks!) In addition, I would guess that at least half of all Bush voters were primarily motivated by irrational fears fostered by snake-oil salesmen of various stripes -- which suggest that only about 15% of eligible voters actually support this regime. Finally, we have all those under 18 to consider since they will spend at least the first half of their working lives (plus their blood) paying for the reckless excesses of Bush & Company's so-called "conservative" agenda. /dps

All of a piece: connections and elections

2004-11-02T11:38:00.000-06:00

Continuing yesterday's topic, one common response from students disenchanted with science is that the material "just isn't that relevant to me." Such a response always seems especially odd coming from Human Biology lib ed students since the entire course is devoted to understanding the workings and failings of our bodies and minds. At the same time, this sort of response is symptomatic, I think, of a fundamental problem with current modes of public education in the US. It seems that somehow we have moved toward training students to pile up facts and skills relevant to particular career goals or interests and have neglected the art of drawing (tentative) connections among diverse facets of human experience. Homo sum; humani nil a me alienum puto (Terence). Learning is "all of a piece" and each bit of new understanding illuminates all others, sharpening focus and (perhaps somewhat holographically?) improving conceptual resolution. Ability (both inborn and acquired?) to see and to critically evaluate provisional connections would seem to be a key distinction between profound wisdom and merely "useful' knowledge.

Because 'including the knower in the known' makes all human understanding necessarily incomplete, any provisional connections we draw between disparate and, at first glance, isolated nodes of knowledge must always be speculative conjectures. Moreover, the broader the span of these speculations, the easier it is to amass seemingly confirmatory evidence and thus to rather quickly believe that we have recognized some fundamental truth. Consequently, as Karl Popper realized, secure understanding ultimate must stem from a search for damning rather confirmatory evidence. Unfortunately, our system of public education has become intrinsically timid -- prevailing "I'm OK, you're OK" notions mean that students are never encouraged to think in a way that puts fundamental assumptions and conjectures at maximum (or even significant) risk. Ironically, while 'cultural sensitivity' has been most often championed by well-meaning liberals, it primarily serves the interests of the most reactionarily conservative elements of our culture -- those in both major political parties who benefit most directly from continuing business as usual. In addition, standardized testing exacerbates an already bad situation by emphasing knowing right answers over asking the right (hard) questions.

Undue respect for unquestioned assumptions and conjectures is at the core of the rotten situation in American political life. Pervasive "I'm not an expert" and "That's outside the bounds of my knowledge" stances tend to preclude the kind of long-term, big-picture thinking that constitutes wisdom. Both major political parties (and a vast majority of their respective ideological mouthpiece candidates) are built on fundamentally flawed conjectures about human nature. Are we really as one dimensionally self-interested as the Republican Party dogma assumes? Are we as altruistic as (at least some left-leaning) Democrats believe? Is the alternative to reside with John Kerry somewhere in the gray and mushy, neither-nor middle? Seems like there must be a better way. Stay tuned, news at 10:00... /dps

Curiosity

2004-11-01T20:45:00.000-06:00

If curiosity killed the cat, what killed the curiosity? I've been curious about curiosity and lack thereof recently...the contrast between the insatiable wonder of 3 1/2 year old James and the intellectual lethargy of many (fortunately far from all!) BSU undergraduate students is painfully stark. I have taken to asking students about this constrast and the results of this informal 'survey' are most depressing. There seems to be a fairly widespread belief that life is easier and simpler (thus somehow better!) if one doesn't think or wonder too much. In several classes, I have posed the question, "What's the opposite of boring?" Overwhelmingly, the favored as answer has been "Fun" with "Interesting" typically coming in distant third or fourth, most often also behind "Entertaining" and "Exciting." I'll grant that pursuing interesting ideas requires a concerted effort and often leads away from comfortable certainty toward further (interesting!) questions and more work -- but it is also clear (at least in my worldview) that this is precisely what makes life rich and interesting. How can anyone be bored when navigating a fecund and mysterious terrain of perpetual questions only occasionally illuminated by the lightning of rewarded curiosity? Sadly, many students seem to hold deeply to an acquired conviction that learning must be fun, first and foremost; the idea that learning might ever be "hard work" (sorry GWB) seems totally outside the experience of a majority of students. This expectation of instant educational gratification seems to me to be one of the most troubling indictments of K-12 public education -- not exactly sure where it comes from our how to fix it but certain that it is a cultural pathology. Learning is often rather tedious and even frustrating work -- it is the fruits of learning that provide enjoyment. /dps

Halloween History

2004-11-01T07:34:00.000-06:00

This was the first year that James was really 'into' Halloween so I had to add a photo documenting his costume and his enthusiasm!

By his own decree, he was a happy pirate (as opposed to a mean or a mad pirate!) /dps

Worldview V?

2004-10-30T21:56:00.000-05:00

My good news on the health front earlier this week made it seem like an appropriate time to change the focus and hence the name of this blog. I'll still post health updates here should anything come up but I want to broaden the scope a bit and hope to use my posts to hone my thinking about worldviews in education. For my purposes, I regard a worldview as a basic orientation toward life and, in particular, toward questions of purpose and meaning. As a science educator, I often feel frustrated with student worldviews that seemingly prevent learning about certain topics -- especially those regarding evolution and a naturalistic understanding of human experience. Initially, it seemed that students were either receptive or hostile to science but it quickly became apparent that such a simplistic approach was inadequate. Cluster analysis of classroom surveys suggested that there were (at least) four distinctive and coexisting worldviews. Following Stephen Pepper, I categorize these orientations as Formist, Mechanist, Organicist, and Contextualist worldviews. Worldview V is then, among other things, an exploration of the origins and relationships among worldviews -- a meta-worldview of sorts... /dps

Whitefish Netting

2004-10-30T16:39:00.000-05:00

Whitefish and cisco netting season starts next week...hopefully the rain will let up this weekend so I can get my nets and gear ready to go. Missed the entire season last year following surgery so I am really eager to get out there this fall. Mark Schultz (Summer Kitchen Supplies) has a large volume smoker set up and ready to go so this year we won't have to battle all the deer hunters for smoker space. Should be a good year especially if we get an abrupt transition to colder weather. /dps

Humans and Hobbits

2004-10-30T14:04:00.000-05:00

A recent publication¹ concerning the discovery of what was apparently a population of 1 meter tall humans has, not surprisingly, generated quite a bit of news over the past several days. Skeletal material from at least eight individuals has been excavated from a limestone cave on Flores Island. In addition to their short stature, other skeletal changes have prompted scientists to establish a new species Homo floresiensis. The journal Nature has developed a special site on Flores man, affectionately referred to as 'hobbits' by some reseachers.

When I first heard this news, it immediately brought to mind a paper I had read several years ago on the broader phenomenon of evolutionary miniaturization.² I went back to my files and dug this one out and in my margin notes found "why not humans?" The phenomenom of miniaturization is very widespread in nature and occurs in all metazoan taxa. It is also especially common on islands. One possible mechanism for reduction in body size involves a reduction in genome size coupled with a concommitant reduction in cell size. The fact that much of our genome appears to be "junk DNA" makes this an especially intriguing notion. Furthermore, another Nature article last week³ reported that mice with 3% of their genome deleted can develop normally (howevery they did not note any significant reduction in cell or body size). Interesting stuff in any case...stay tuned for future developments. /dps

¹Morwood MJ. et al. 2004. Archaeology and age of a new hominin from Flores in eastern Indonesia. Nature 431: 1087-1091.

²Hanken, J. & Wake, D.B. 1993. Miniaturization of body size: organismal consequences and evolutionary significance. Ann. Rev. Ecol. Syst. 24: 501-519.

³Nobrega, M.A. et al. 2004. Megabase deletions of gene deserts result in viable mice. Nature 431: 988-993.

All clear!

2004-10-29T21:33:00.000-05:00

The one year check-up is now official. Nothing amiss on either of the CT scans and everything else looks good too. Today I even had a chance to meet with my surgeon who look down my throat and probed around on my neck -- somehow that visual and hands-on exam was even more reassuring than the high tech scans. To celebrate we met the Schultz's for dinner tonight at the 71 Bar -- better than expected food and great company! Life is good...

Attended John Judge's talk at BSU last night and he is actually quite compelling in person; not the ranting conspiracy theorist I feared he might turn out to be -- plus he had a refreshingly off-beat sense of humor. I left (after three hours -- many people still there!) realizing that the most important citizen work in a democracy doesn't involve the presidential election and that all the acrimony of recent weeks is symptomatic of a deeper structural flaw in our two-party system. He (almost?) convinced me that representative democracy is an anachronism in the age of the internet and needs to be tranformed in a direct, participatory democracy. /dps

So far, so good...

2004-10-26T21:03:00.000-05:00

Head and neck CT scan this morning looked good! I haven't actually seen the pictures myself but talked to one of the oncology nurses so I'm halfway there. Chest and abdomen scan first thing Thursday so by the the weekend I hope to have an all clear for the time being. If this particular cancer doesn't recur within the first two years it can be considered cured so I am feeling pretty good about my prognosis.

Attended an interesting Honors Council lecture this evening by friend and colleague Tom Murphy. Tom made a useful distinction between history and memory and explored how these shape our interpretation of John Kerry's Viet Nam era experiences. He raised what I thought was a particularly interesting question: why are Kerry's fellow dissenters not publicly proclaiming his resistance to a war now almost universally acknowledged to have been misguided and counter to both our long term interests and our most noble ideals? Tom didn't have an answer but it is a question that needs to be raised...I'd feel better about Kerry if he and his backers weren't (apparently) running away from his obviously deeply felt and morally courageous convictions. On an election related note, the LA Times has a user friendly interactive electoral college map that clearly shows why George, Dick, and Johns will be spending quite a bit of time in the upper midwest this week! /dps

Another pumpkin carved

2004-10-26T11:12:00.000-05:00

Last year, when we carved James' first pumpkin on our kitchen floor I was seriously wondering whether I would see Halloween 2004; last night Lenore and I took James to a pumpkin carving sponsored by Early Childhood and Family Education (ECFE) -- so I guess I am still here! It was wonderful to see all the kids from diverse socio-economic backgrounds having a great time together and I was reminded of what is at stake in the coming election. Bush and his fellow warmongering aggrandizers of greed would no doubt see last nights ECFE event as the kind of (socialist?) frill Americans should do without. Fortunately, even Republicans are beginning to see the light. Hopefully enough good old-fashioned mainstreet Republican will realize what Texas Republican Mitch Dworkin has -- "country must come before party" -- let's see a surprise landslide repudation of Bush so we don't have to have the election decided in the courts where the no-paper-trail-electonic-voting scam almost assures a bitterly divisive litigated outcome.

My CT scan this morning went well although I won't have results until later this afternoon at the earliest. I'll add another post here as soon as there is any news on way or another.

Truth is the enemy of both sides

2004-10-25T22:25:00.000-05:00

Not even fully sure what this line means but it rolled into my mind today and won't go away (especially in light of elephantine Karl Rove and his jackass counterparts). Seems like it works either way. Both 'sides' dissemble and obfuscate (OK, they flat out lie) and any glimpses of truth rapidly erode the simplistic ideologies of both sides -- or something like that anyway.

CT scan of head and neck first thing tomorrow morning. Not sure how long I'll have to wait for the results. Abdominal CT scan Thursday so hopefully by Friday (if not sooner) I'll have some news.

John Judge, co-founder of Citizens 911 Watch, is speaking in Bemidji Thursday evening. Interesting perspective...if even half of what he says is true then truth indeed has formidable enemies on both sides of the political aisle. To those who call him a conspiracy theorist he counters with the assertion that they must be coincidence theorists and he make a good case for his views. Should be fun. /dps

Evolution and Genetics Front and Center

2004-10-24T08:25:00.000-05:00

Cover stories on both Time magazine (Oct 25th) and National Geographic (Nov) feature provocative biological themes -- "The God Gene" and "Was Darwin Wrong" respectively. The first article, largely based on the work of Dean Hamer, describes a a variation in a gene on chromosome 10 that is involved in neural signaling. It turns out that a single mutation in this gene (VMAT2) accounts for a signficant amount of variation in self-described spirituality. Ultimately, the article sums up the current state of affairs by concluding that our brains evolved in a way that makes gods and that this capability is simply another Darwinian adaptation! The National Geographic piece, perhaps more of a marketing stunt than anything else, sums up the answer to its rhetorical question on the first page with a large-font, bold-faced NO! Refreshing honesty from very mainstream media -- perhaps there is some hope for a return to rationality after all!

Happy 6007th!

2004-10-23T11:11:00.000-05:00

According to Bishop James Ussher's 1650 calculations, today is the 6007th anniversary of earth's creation. Based on his interpretation of the Bible, Ussher determined that the earth was created on Sunday October 23, 4004 BCE (note that there was no year zero). Not sure how God could justify such an immense effort on the Sabbath (of course it really wasn't the Sabbath since God is Jewish) but I suppose as God he wouldn't have to defend his own morality anyway. Unbelievably enough, there are a still people who accept the Ussher-Lightfoot calendar and argue that scientific chronologies are wrong and will eventually be modified such that they concur with the Bishop's findings! /dps

Tolerance of Ambiguity

2004-10-23T10:10:00.000-05:00

Since when is (misplaced!) certainty a moral or intellectual virtue? Election rhetoric, especially from the right, seems to assume that people are simpletons in search of absolutist, black and white understanding of complex realities -- with us or against us -- white hat cowboys versus the axis of evil. I hope the little-boy ideologues (at both ends of the political spectrum) are wrong but at the same time wonder whether twenty-plus years of their anti-education, pro-indoctrination agenda has succeeded in producing a populace comprised of a majority of moronic automatons incapable of (or at least unwilling to) tolerate any ambiguities in their own understanding -- amoral foot-soldiers finding certainty in so-called "revealed truth" and willing to (send others to) die to defend and extend ideological half-truths.

Recent villifications of billionaire-philanthropist George Soros are especially revealing. Consider his argument, derived from Karl Popper, that our current form of global capitalism poses the most immediate threat to an open society precisely because it rest on false certainty. According to Popper, all human understanding ultimately must rest on an uncertain foundation since knowledge is at best a body of thus-far-unrefuted conjectures. Even the most rigorous scientific enterprise does not, and indeed cannot, reveal any certain Truth. From the standpoint of human cognition, all honest understanding must be regarded as provisional and thus must remain subject to modification of rejection in the light of new evidence.

As Emerson put it in Self-Reliance:
"A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines. With consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do. He may as well concern himself with his shadow on the wall. Speak what you think now in hard words, and tomorrow speak what tomorrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict every thing you said today. — 'Ah, so you shall be sure to be misunderstood.' — Is it so bad, then, to be misunderstood? Pythagoras was misunderstood, and Socrates, and Jesus, and Luther, and Copernicus, and Galileo, and Newton, and every pure and wise spirit that ever took flesh.

So, there you have it George -- consistency is no virtue especially when one is so consistently and demonstrably wrong. And John, celebrate and and embrace your reasoned inconsistency rather than pathetically denying it and you might even merit my respect and get my vote. /dps

Total Recall

2004-10-22T22:48:00.000-05:00

A year ago today I was awaiting surgery for an unknown neo-plasm...hard to believe that it has only been a year but at the same time it is also hard to believe that year has already passed. I clearly remember getting out of bed midway through a sleepless night, full of anxiety that I wouldn't wake up from the anasthesia!

All things considered, the last year has been rich and good. I have learned an awful lot, both at the U and in life, and have been amazed at how quickly James is growing and developing. [Side note: as I write we are in the midst of a real summertime thunderstorm with abundant lightning and heavy rain -- really odd for late October but should make for a much better sleep than I had a year ago!] Lenore and I are both teaching at BSU this fall, she in music and me back in Biology -- Genetics and Human Biology plus an Honors course on Darwin. We even manage to have lunch together in the Union a couple times a week -- pretty cute or at least that's what I hear from colleagues. We had a neat thing happen a couple weeks ago. I got an email from a guy in California who was recently diagnosed with the same cancer I had -- found this 'blog! He has gone through the same surgery, chemo, and radiation as I had -- he's in his 40s, married with a young daughter and he's a boat builder (see Stephen Dampier under the Tolman Skiff links at right). Anyway, we have written back and forth a couple times and I feel like it is in the cards that our paths will cross in person sometime soon. I am also convinced that I need to build a Tolman Skiff as a reward for (finally) completing my doctorate (hopefully next spring)! The Tolman Skiff builders are interesting crew...Stephen runs a discussion group for fellow builders that has been about 75% politics and 25% boats of late -- gives me more than enough opportunity to read and write political commentary so I'll resist the temptation to rant. That's all for now. /dps

A year ago...

2004-09-17T15:33:00.000-05:00

A very long time has passed since my previous post so I suspect I may be writing only to myself at this point but if that's the case so be it. Just about a year ago now, Lenore, James, and I met my mom and dad for a camping weekend at Scenic State Park. I wasn't feeling good the whole weekend and had been battling a sore throat for a couple weeks. The following Monday I went to the clinic and within the following 10 days my life changed pretty dramatically. As that ominous Anniverary approaches I can say that I feel pretty lucky to be where I am at the moment. I will have more CT scans again next months so some anxiety is starting to build about that but I really am feeling like everything is back to normal -- whatever that is or was. In another sense, I know that nothing will ever be normal in quite the same ho-hum, mundane way. Everything seems just that much more interesting and vibrant, that much crisper, wetter, darker, brighter, colder, warmer...

Four luck...

2004-06-30T07:45:00.000-05:00

Yesterday James and I were playing in the backyard. All of a sudden he said "Look what I found!" He had a perfect four leaf clover! Click here to see a fuzzy photo. We looked through the rest of a rather big patch for another to no avail -- not sure how he spotted it or why he was even looking. Maybe our luck is changing! Lenore's eye problems have cleared up, I did get a job back at BSU next year, and, after a slow start for registrations, Lenore's Bluegrass Camp (16-18 July) is nearly full. James and I went fishing last night and we found some fast action for big perch right out in front of our dock at Marquette (he caught fifteen!).

I'm feeling great although any little ache or pain sets off a cascade of transitory anxiety. I have another check-up in mid-July. My hair has come back with a vengeance but it is pretty strange stuff. Mary Forseth says it looks like rabbit fur; Peg Schultz compares it to gosling down! In any case, I think I'll go in for a haircut today. Heading down to Otter Tail to celebrate the holiday weekend. /dps

Happy Birthday to Me!

2004-06-07T11:33:00.000-05:00

Long time no posts but thought that today might be a good day for a brief update. Somehow it seems like every birthday from here on out will have a heightened meaning..."I'm still here!" Not a thought I had ever really considered much before this past year and not one I really dwell on but it does put things into perspective. I have been feeling great of late ('though my still reduced white count seems to make more susceptible to pollen and other allergens) and had a good trip to the BWCA a couple weeks ago. Our biggest concerns at the moment center on jobs. In April, it looked virtually certain that I would be back at BSU in a one-year fixed term position. Based on that understanding, Lenore put in for an unpaid leave for the next school (to finish her Masters and to further develop our on-line cape business). Now, unfortunately, it isn't at all clear what is going on with BSU and so we're feeling some building anxiety about health insurance (long story with still obscure plot lines). It may still be possible for Lenore to retract her leave request if necessary but even that isn't clear. Some decision on my prospects may come as early as tomorrow and good news there would be the best birthday present I could hope to receive. I'll post another update as soon as I have any news./dps

P.S. Here's a photo of James' first northern pike which he caught last week...he also has caught six perch and a couple giant rock bass off our dock.

CT scans all clear!

2004-04-20T14:17:00.000-05:00

Yahoo! Had my first followup appointment today and the CAT scans looked great...no sign of anything ominous! I have one more appointment this week (Friday) and then probably not another until late summer or fall. I have been feeling quite a bit of anxiety over the passed couple days and these results provide a great sense of relief. If I didn't have so much work to do this would certainly merit a trout fishing trip (might still have to try to work that in within the week!) /dps

Overdue update

2004-04-19T12:02:00.000-05:00

Wow, I can't believe more than a month has passed since my last post here. I think I have (subconciously perhaps) been trying to avoid any thought of things cancer related. Aside from itchy hair follicles I have been feeling pretty good so that avoidance was pretty easy. That bubble burst last week when I had my first followup CT scans since the end of my treatment. Being back in the clinic, with blood work and IVs brought all my anxiety back with a vengeance. I had a head and neck scan Wednesday then a full body scan on Friday. On the Friday scan, it took six 'sticks' before they finally got the IV started...by that time I was on oxygen and horizontal so I guess my needle phobia was not completely overcome! Now I am awaiting results. I have several appointments this week -- the first tomorrow -- and am optimistic that everthing will be looking good but the uncertaintly has left me drifting from one distraction to another over the last couple days. Fortunately, there is yard work and other spring things to occupy my attention.

Had a strange experience Saturday. When my cancer was first diagnosed back in October I still had my dock, boat, and lift in the water in anticipation of the whitefish netting season in November. While I managed to get the boat out and winterized I decided to take a chance and leave the dock and lift in place since the water was very low. It looked like they had made it through the winter fine (as of two weeks ago) but then when I went out to get things set up so I could put the boat back in I found they were GONE! When the ice went out, it just picked them up and hauled them away. At first it looked like they had been dropped in deep water since that was the direction (SE) of the original "tracks." Later I found them up the shore to the northwest, in tough shape but salvageable I think. Live and (hopefully) learn I guess ('though I already knew better). Look for another update tomorrow after my appointment.

Founding Fathers

2004-03-15T10:08:00.000-06:00

A friend of mine (thanks Bill!) referred me to this site -- kind of fun as pop psychology meets history lesson...I came up as an Alexander Hamilton type... (click the link below the image to take an eight question quiz)

Which Founding Father Are You?

Just a quick health update...all's well -- feeling better than at least since last summer -- maybe better than I have felt in several years. Still trying to get back in shape phyically but that is going pretty well too. PS. My friend Kim Ode, a Strib columnist echoed my earlier email triage post in a recent column. /dps

MBOTMA Winter Festival

2004-03-05T12:07:00.000-06:00

Heading out the MBOTMA Winter Bluegrass Weekend later this afternoon..weather permitting of course. Should be a good time and James and I will undoubtedly be well water-logged by Sunday...Lenore may even be 'fiddled out' though I doubt it. It is a great event that has drawn huge crowds ever since Oh Brother Where Art Thou. Time to go finish laundry and packing. /dps

Counterproductive Email Triage

2004-03-04T08:18:00.000-06:00

I finally took the time to write a long-delayed email response to my friend Mary yesterday. After drifting out of communication over the past couple years, I had received several emails of support and encouragement from Mary during the last month or so. It was great to hear from her although I was saddened to learn that her husband is also battling lymphoma. In the course of 'making excuses' for my untimely reply it occurred to me that I've developed a very bad 'email triage' habit lately. As I told Mary, I first "trash 95% of it, make quick responses to those urgent but unimportant messages that demand my immediate attention, then save those important but less urgent messages until I have time to make a more thoughtful and coherent reply." Unfortunately, it seems that time is always in woefully short supply. As a result, I now have almost two dozen 'important' messages that have gone far too long without a response! Some system. I am reminded of Steven Covey's (Seven Habits of Highly Effective People) advice that we should put our energy into things that are important but not urgent (rather than waiting for important to become urgent, giving our energy to the urgent but unimportant, or frittering away hours on the unimportant and non-urgent).

The irony of our capacity for instant communication delaying (and trivializing?) responses has been put in especially sharp relief for me lately because I have been reading reams of Darwin's correspondence from the 1860s as part of an on-going collaboration with a couple BSU colleagues. Most of the letters aren't especially long but they are numerous, timely, and always sharply focused. It sometimes seems that the convenience of instant messaging and email (not to mention telephones and I suppose even the telegraph!) has fragmented my (our culture's?) writing (and I suspect my/our thinking as well). The dangers of historical scholarship...I fear I am rapidly becoming a conflicted, techno-savvy Luddite. /dps

Hiatus

2004-03-01T23:40:00.000-06:00

Wow...I can't believe two weeks have past since my last post. I have been feeling pretty much back to normal and have been making good progress on my dissertation though I am still behind on other things. Psychologically, this has been an odd period in that I pretty much feel like I am through all this and yet since I don't have followup CT scans for another six weeks there is also a rather disconcerting sense of limbo. Friends who have gone through this report the same kind of thing.

Today actually marks four months from my first post -- at once perhaps the most vivid and surreal third of year in my life. For the moment, I just want to take a 'breather' -- not think about any of this. At the same time, I am also feeling a need to acknowledge all the support and encouragement we have received. I have a big backlog of e-mail to respond to plus thank-yous from our celebration. For now, I need to get some sleep...sweet dreams. /dps